Sunday, December 6, 2015

Stages of Weightloss -

I gained weight, blah, blah, blah. And then I created and then self diagnosed myself with these multiple stages of weight loss dieting. Notice I have not gone through the "actually losing weight stage" yet, so I have something to look forward to.

For Tired Girls out there in the throes of any of these stages I am just extending my fist in the air to you. Solidarity. I got you, girl.  I have been there or I am here now - in fact these stages are more of a cycle as they seem to keep coming back around. 
Here they are in the order I am lucky enough to participate:

Considering - 
An oldie, but a goodie.
"I am going to just eat a little less and move a little more, no big deal. Not going to freak out or deprive myself. I'll have this taken care of in no time."

Freaking Out - 
"I am going to walk everywhere and only eat grapefruits and potatoes. I'll hide all my clothes except for workout clothes as I'll be more likely to get on the treadmill if I am already dressed for it. I'll start jogging. I'm getting up at 5 tomorrow morning and jogging on the treadmill and then I'll walk to the grocery store and to Target. And I'll get in like 16,000 steps every day. I'll be in great shape in no time."

No Way - 
"I can't do this. I am starving. I am not meant to subsist on such a restricted diet. I need cheese. It's not worth it; there are too many other miserable things in life to be hungry on top of it. There has to be a better way. Forget it, no way."

Spending money - 

"I am going to hire a personal trainer - no matter the cost. Then I'll go to one of those doctors that give you shots, so you aren't hungry - doesn't matter how much that costs - you can't put a price on your health. Then I'll go and get those Myer's Cocktails, that IV therapy stuff that athlete's do, again no price tag on health; the important thing is to feel good. Then I'll go once a week to acupuncture, and I'll be relaxed and happy and will lose weight. Then I'll buy a Vitamix, and that Shakeology stuff and drink a diet of smoothies and veggie juice - doesn't matter how much all that costs - it's worth it. I'll feel great and be in the best shape of my life in no time."

Medical Problem - 
"There is obviously something wrong with me. There is no way I haven't lost any weight. It's like my body needs the fat, like it can't let go of it. Maybe my thyroid is off. Maybe I have a'syndrome' of some kind. Maybe my body doesn't process food the way it should. I'm going to the doctor and I'll bet I'll find out something is really wrong and I'll get all fixed up and be back to my old self in no time."

The holidays - 
"It's the holidays/vacation I am not going to worry about this crap right now. I'll revisit my clean eating plan later. I don't want to ruin this event by feeling stressed out. I am just going to enjoy life."

Grief veiled as "acceptance"- 
"I guess I'll never wear those yellow jeans or that black bikini again. I guess this is my new body. I am not even going to try anymore."


Quiet sobbing.  "How did it come to this?"

Rebellion - 
"Who the fuck cares that I have gained weight? I don't! I like me for who I am and I don't care that there is just a little more of me now. I am not like unhealthy. No one cares that I sort have a second chin. I went through A LOT with those damn fertility drugs. I'll wear my chubby body as a badge of pride. I tried something in this life, I tried for something I wanted and it didn't work and now I have a new body and I am not ashamed. I am just going to embrace this and buy new clothes. This will be fun; I'll feel better in no time."

White Noise - 
"La la la, denial, denial, denial, derp di derpity derp, pizza, pizza, pizza, apple pie, club sandwich, treadmill not even plugged in, pizza, denial, denial."

This is me talking to myself when I continue to
show up in the "Spending Money" stage.

And then I cycle back to "Considering" and around I go. Since my weight gain has occurred over the past two to three years I have rotated through these a few times. 

I'll let you know when something changes and I manage to start losing weight. 

Did I miss a stage that any of you have gone through? 

1 comment:

  1. I know one great way to stop gaining weight, it'i a meal replacement shakes.
    They helps you to keep your body in a great shape and don't make any exercises.
    If you want some meal replaement shake use


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