Tired Girl-ness

There was a time I could have named this blog “Sick A Lot and Deeply Tired Girl.”  I taught elementary school and I don’t l know if any of you know any children, but those sweet little hands and faces and germs like to be NEAR you as much as possible.  I had one sinus infection after the other and would go round after round of antibiotics.  Awful.

One thing that has drastically helped me is using a neti pot.  I know the words “ewwwww” and “what in the hey is a neti pot” are in some of your minds right now. 

In short: a neti pot is a little teapot looking thing that you fill with warm distilled water and a saline/baking powder solution and you pour the mixture into one side of your nose while tilting your head and letting the water come out the other side.

I know the words “ewwwww” and “what in the hey is she talking about” are in some of your minds right now again.

I spent way too much time looking at some how-to videos on youtube to share and none were any I would want to post.  So – I made my own to share with you!!!   Some fun blogs show you how to do a sideways French twist and I demonstrate a neti pot.  I’ve really made something of myself.

Here is my video:  don’t judge.  **** UPDATE - when my purse was stolen from my innocence, my camera was inside and inside my camera was the charming video of me pouring water through my nose.  

So instead I settled on this video - I like their attempt at making the neti pot humorous. It's not as wonderful as my video, but life isn't fair. 


Here is my recipe for salt solution: equal parts baking soda and non-iodized salt. Shake it up and store in an airtight container.  

 I totally edited a gin bottle out of the background of this photo. I feel okay about saying it and not about having it in the photo. I give myself a "B' for my editing skills. 

I use my neti pot once or twice a day depending on the season and my allergies, etc. I have it all set up in my laundry room, so I can leave it all out.

Just hanging out, waiting to get used. 

It is VERY important to use filtered or distilled water for this.  This part is non-negotiable. You can also boil your water and let it cool to a warm temp - I use a "hot pot" for this when traveling.  I can use hotel tap water, boil and let it cool.  

My steps:

 - I pour 2 cups of  filtered water in to my big glass (that's big glass, not big ass - I am a lady afterall) measuring cup.  
- I heat in the microwave for 1 minute, which is the perfect amount of time for me to create warm and not hot water.  
- I scoop a 1/2 teaspoon of salt solution in to my pot.
-  Then pour water on top and stir.
-  Then stick end of pot into my right nostril, open my mouth (to breathe like a dog) and           tilt my head to pour liquid in to my right nostril.  
- I pour through my nose until the neti pot is empty. 
- I blow out gently (I just do) and then I repeat the whole process on the other side.  

I think it feels wonderful - super soothing and I can instantly breathe and think better.  

Here is the link to the neti pot I like the best:  SinuCleanse.

Cheers to an easy and sickness-free allergy season (I am raising my neti pot up to toast you)! Clink.

Two more things if you care - 
1) Joe got me my first neti pot - for my birthday! One woman's horrible birthday gift is another woman's most appreciated item from a thoughtful spouse.  Thanks Joe! Heart.

2) There are SOOOOO many fun "neti pot jokes" on google images.  You could spend some serious time looking busy at working getting through them all.  

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2014/04/why-i-am-not-sick-more-often-anymore.html

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When you have a puppy you do not get to do certain things like prepare and post blogs, or shower regularly, or sleep, or wear normal clothes.  Instead you just get to survive, and talk and sing incessantly while performing a normal task like pouring water to keep the puppy entertained so he doesn't start chewing on the shoe you are wearing. Or you look up the weather each night to make sure no rain is in the forecast, because by God you will still be outside playing, you will just be wet.  But also when you have a puppy your house feels full and lived in, and you get to carry laundry with a furry body right in between your ankles and you are sure everyone will break something, and you get breathed on in a different way than normal, and the puppy lays down in front of the shower so he doesn't miss a second with you.
the man

I assume this survival mode mentality - wipe food on your shirt and nobody MOVE when he is finally sleeping kind of attitude is similar to having a baby except there is no puppy maternity leave and no one has brought us casseroles (that is a hint).

On Sunday I will write about Tired Girl things and today I will tell you I am too tired with my new puppy - my life has been hijacked by sweet puppy breath and a wagging tail and the need to always have something in his mouth - always! Always! Do you understand - always.  

and P.S. We are crazy about him.

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2014/03/a-puppy.html
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Not tired girlfriends (although it is really what they are), but rather Tired Girl - friends.  As a Tired Girl it is sometimes hard to maintain friendships, because - wait for it - I am tired.  Wah Wahh (sad trombone). Someone I like calls me and two weeks later I call them back.  Some girls are great with that and some not so much.

The friends in my world are hardy stock. They are not easily daunted; their feelings aren't hurt; there is no guilt; we all GET IT.  If it takes my TG friend Ashley four days to text me back I am cool with that and when it takes me three or eight days to write her back she is cool with that.  I wrote about my friend theory here in my post called Other People's Jerkiness:

- Survival of the fittest and nicest.  Some people make me feel guilty when it takes me awhile to call them back, and when that happens it takes even longer the next time.  Who wants to spend their precious energy being made to feel guilty when the phone works both ways? Not me.  The friends I have fit in to the survival of the fittest and the nicest category.  These are the people that don’t get their feelings hurt when I don’t attend the bachelorette party or take a little too long to email them back.  These are true friends. They truly love me and because of it they will take me with my flaws (tiredness) and all.  

That was quite a rant. I also understand that someone may not be interested in having a friend who is so unresponsive at times.  Some people like to actually interact. Thanks to all my friends that put up with me.

I would be shocked about the language, but I am not, and I agree with this.
Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2014/03/tired-girl-friends.html
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Recently I have been looking for something that doesn't exist in the universe.  It is: a purse that easily holds my laptop, zips across the top, is not huge, has a cross body strap, has top handles as well, looks like a purse not a bag or a briefcase, is feminine, is reasonably priced (like under $150 - ha!), I can sleep in it if things go wrong for me, is black and brown in parts, and is pretty.

Bought this one on ebay from China and love it,
but a very complicated reason prevents it from working
with my laptop. Here it is on Ebay.
I have become obsessed with finding this Big Foot type purse.  I know it's out there - if I just look at twelve more sites or try a different search on ebay or quit my job and dedicate more time, I will find it.  And in truth I did find it, almost - if I want to compromise.  A $1,200 bag came close, but whatevs.  A $25 purse came close too, but it didn't zip across the top and was cute, not pretty, so if I am going to compromise with the zipper I can consider other pretty things I didn't consider before.  AND cut to me 2 am with blood shot eyes glaring at my ipad and rocking and back forth to self soothe, while Joe innocently sleeps next to me not knowing I may accidentally buy the wrong purse and the whole world will stop.

Currently holding on to this one.
It's not super sturdy and no zipper, but I like the it.
This is the "Big Buddha Cabana Shopper" from Macys.
So, one good thing that has come from this fixation is that I go up to women in public and ask where they got their purse!  I am not shy - I am a little shy actually, but I suck it up.  I have asked five different women so far about their purse and one even let me put hers on my arm and look at the measurements.

I know I could stare at their purse and then try and match it online with magic, or I could just ask them and save 32 hours.

So, now I ask people (really just women) about all kinds of stuff.  Their earrings, their comfortable work shoes, their blush color, their black ankle pants, etc.  It cuts down on tons of energy of wondering and looking. When you see something working in real life it is too good of an opportunity to pass up. It's a very Tired Girl thing to do. 

Returned this and I regret it. May re-purchase.
It's a Dooney and Bourke nylon "shopper.' 

I start with moving closer to them naturally - not bee-lining over to them.  I smile and then act surprised when I notice their purse or whatever. And then I continue to smile and say "Excuse me, I love your bag, do you mind telling me what brand it is."  They are caught off guard rightly so, and then we discuss their item, and then I thank them and tell them how I have been looking for something that size and style.  I usually say to " I need something hold my laptop, but is still pretty," so they don't think I just don't know how to use the internet and look for purses.

So far, everyone I have ever approached has been flattered, friendly and helpful.

In the end NOTHING is perfect - my mom told me that recently about something else and it was like I heard harp music. Nothing is perfect. I have purchased a few (many, many) bags and returned almost all. I have two I am holding on to right now, and I returned one and then almost asked my mom to go back and get it for me - I returned it to the Marshall's close to her. But then I found it on ebay for cheaper so I have that in my pocket too. And also it doesn't matter if I find the right bag because I may have to drop out of society anyway because I am like way preoccupied with this hunt. 

Currently own this and I love many aspects of it, but there are issues.
 Bought this at the Men's Coach Factory Store in Orlando.  

This looks less briefcasey and more cutesy in person.
Men's Tattersal Bleecker

Unfortunately, all the purses I have asked women in public about will not work for me for one reason or another.  So the search continues. 

I need help. If you know of a purse like this you have a moral responsibility to put me out of my misery and let me know.  

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2014/02/where-did-you-get-that.html
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Tired Girls (mostly me) have a loose sense of time.  Me, specifically, am not perpetually late, but rather time has little meaning when it comes to accomplishing things.  I get an invite in the mail to attend a party.  I want to attend and think "Yay fun! I will RSVP tomorrow."  Three weeks go by and I realize it's two days till the party and I am just now getting around to RSVPing. Bleh.  "I'll call her back" will happen in about 2 weeks.  "I will write a thank you note" - one month. I started
reading a book last night that I "just bought" two years ago.  It took me two years as well to get around to trying out a recipe for pumpkin cheesecake - and I felt super proud of myself for doing it then!

An 8 second clip that always makes me laugh (and one of my favorite movie quotes) - from the movie "I Heart Huckabee" - I feel like this guy:

I could give you a list of like 23 things that this Tired Girl time problem affects.  The frustrating part is that I don't want to hurt people's feeling and sometimes this happens - my good intentions and suspended time frame don't always mix.

It is important to be really nice to people anyway (unless they are jerks and then that is a whole other issue), and especially for this purpose.  When you text your BFF back five days later it's important that she knows you love her. I write about the importance of Tired Girls being nice here.

I do not have any solution or explanation to lack of time sense.  Why does three months feel like "right away"? I don't know.  

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2014/02/tired-girl-time.html
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I use my phone a lot and the smallest fraction is actually talking to people - no offense to people.  Just like everyone else in the world I suppose, my phone houses almost everything important.  I won't give you the list because you can piece it together. 

The feature I use more than anything else I think is my camera, and consequently my gallery is like a virtual file cabinet. The book I saw at that one gift store that would be a great birthday gift for my mom - I don't text or email it to myself, I just snap a photo. The replacement blades for Joe's electric razor, there is a photo of the number on my phone. The brand of salsa I like, so I don't forget when I am at the store = photo.  A picture of my feet before I get on the plane so I can compare to after because sometimes they swell and I want to be able to tell = photo. The name of the fabric I like at Joann's so I can go home and google it to find it cheaper = photo. The design on the a plastic cup that I might want to paint = photo.  Should I bore you with more? No. I take pictures of a lot of things.  
I don't take too many selfies -
I haven't mastered any part of it.

To me this is a great trick for Tired Girls.  There is no scrolling through your emails to see where you emailed yourself the address of your friend. You don't have to think "What month was that that I got her card and it made me remember to add her address to the Christmas card list? Well Nina retired in January so maybe it was then, maybe that was the party, OR was it in March when she sent the invite for Christy's baby shower?"  

So instead of all that brain energy and digging through your texts and emails you just fly through your photos until you see the photo of an envelope with your friend's address on it. In between the important photos of addresses and style numbers and magazine covers are photos of my friends laughing at a concert and Ralphie laying on every soft surface in my house and Joe smiling big on vacation.  In between the important things are the happy things, so while shopping at Wal-Mart I can revisit my vacation and see the photo of the size of filter I need for my vacuum. 
Not my size, but style can be looked up online

This probably sounds pretty dumb - like "yeah Tired Girl everyone does this", but it both saves me energy and time and makes for a more fun existence (and that is practically my whole goal in life),  so I am sharing.  You know what they say (mostly JFK said it) "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country," so this is what I am doing.  

The problem may lie if my phone is ever destroyed or lost. I think if you have an Iphone your photos can be backed up to a cloud.  When I got a new phone a while back they transferred all my photos.  But if you have your phone in your pocket and wade in to the gulf (Joe) or close your tailgate on your truck on your phone (Joe) or get your purse stolen with your phone inside (almost me - my phone was in my pocket luckily) then you have less options.

Here are a whole bunch of possibly non-interesting photos to share with you:

Function - a pic of a swimsuit my MIL bought for my neice and I can look for matching flip-flops for a gift

Fun - Besties at a concert

Function - to remember this song -2Pac is not usually my genre - this was a fluke.

Fun - My wonderful friend and her charismatic dog, Boo.

Function - where we are parked

Fun - Ralphie in the middle of cleaning out the closet project
Function - a slide from a conference so I don't have to take furious notes

Fun - Joe working in the yard (fun for me not him)
Function and fun - a painting I like in a magazine at the doc office

Fun - a poorly lit pic of my mom

Anyone else use their camera phone as a virtual file cabinet?
Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2014/01/phone-for-life-taking-pics-of-everything.html
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When I was a freshman living in the dorm, our dorm lady - I think she was call our "RA" - put a piece of paper on each door that read "HALT!"  And it stood for:

If you, as a freshman, were any two of those things you had to HALT!! and fix at least one of them - eat something, call someone, take a rest, etc. I assume many freshman were either 
A) good at eating, sleeping and socializing and the anger would come in when they got kicked out of school or 
B) terrible at maneuvering the world, suddenly, in such a different way and needed someone to tell them to eat something for Pete's sake.  

My college years were before the days
when we could express our angst with grumpy cat.
Luckily I was somewhere in the middle.  Of all the things I (semi) "accomplished" (a term used loosely in this sense) in college I think about "HALT"  a lot.  

When I use to work outside my home like a normal person I would often "HALT" myself first thing at work in the mornings.  Making sure I didn't get too busy to drink the coffee or breakfast I brought and making sure to reach out to friends in some way first thing - this made me happier the rest of the day. Obviously "Halting" yourself when you get in the evenings is important too. 

As a Tired Girl I know that if any of these things (hunger, anger, loneliness of fatigue) get away from me, like get too big - I am doomed.  There will be tears and a mini-meltdown.  (Aren't there tears every day you ask? Yes of course there - I am a Crier, but still).

Here is a quick word on each of these - the Tired Girl way: 

I like this flavor best and they do fill me
up for a breakfast on the go if I am short on time.
They count for 6 points on weight watchers.
Hungry - if I get too hungry, I get hangry (it's a thing) and I don't even know it's happening I just can't think and then I melt down. I carry a a granola bar or a Belvita pack in my purse - just in case.  I also try not to get too hungry or I effing binge! - I forget to purge though so that means I don't have disorder. 

Angry - I get more anxious than angry - either way a phone call to mom or my husband usually does the job there. Exercise is also my biggest ally in anger and anxiety, but that is not always feasible. So then I ask myself a VERY dangerous question "If you could do anything right now to feel better what would it be?"  Luckily the answer is usually something realistic like "move around my house to neaten it up, cry a little, look at sale items on J.Crew, and call my mom." 

A good ol' call to my mom fixes some things.
I did not edit this photo except to make it black and white, 
the fact that we took this in a bathroom
shouldn't have made us look so plastic.
Lonely - I am happy being alone, but I do like to feel connected to the world. The key here is not to put all your eggs in one basket - don't just text one friend and sit there and wait for a reply.  I will email/ facebook like 6-10 friends when I feel lonely  - and write a short sentence or two about something we talked about last and ask how they are.  I like to know specific things about my friends - so I ask them what they had for dinner or what are they watching that night on tv, something that makes me feel right there with them. usually atleast two will write me back right away and I can go from there.  Also, commenting on a few people's post on Facebook makes me feel connected as well - don't psycho-anlayze me or tell me why that's nuts - just let me have this. 

Dogs doing human things is another favorite past time
when I am tired and looking for a pick me up. 
Tired - well I write a whole blog about it so I am like all over the tired thing. Alot of times though when I need to be less tired in the a.m. then coffee and movement do the trick. Tired in the evening I work to go to bed early, take a power nap or get on ebay as it strangely relaxes me.

Something we Tired Girls never want to hear, because our sole goal is to sit down, 
BUT exercise fixes things too.  
Here I am in my old lady easy spirit slip on shoes and my pajama pants. 
Check your judgement elsewhere.  

As a Tired Girl I will always need help helping myself.  How do you HALT yourself? 

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I have a new job. It is with the same great company and I am still surrounded by many of the same comforts as I was before. The new position is not HARDER than my previous one, but it is DIFFERENT and as a Tired Girl, different directly translates to hard. I could do my previous jobs in my sleep (and sometimes kind of did) and was still good (great!! – maybe) at it. 

As a Tired Girl I achieve comfort in my life by creating ease, simplicity and knowing what to expect. I know how my hair will look when I don’t wash it and what I will need to do to make it look like I don’t live in a cave. I know how much energy it takes to make chicken tacos and how it will taste and how much time I will have left in the evening to sit there. I do not know how to do my new job very, very well yet, and this causes angst, which causes me to avoid, which causes me to procrastinate, which causes me to feel bad, and ultimately to feel more tired – mentally – which is my life’s goal to avoid.

Here is how I felt reading emails I recieved the first few days of my new job - keep in mind I already work for this company and I was chosen to do this job - my thoughts are in pink and italic:

Tired Girl, 
Hey, hope you had a great weekend – I am letting Crystal Valley (is this a person or a place) know that the phoshphing (the what?) is no longer loading with Jazzhands (this is capitalized which implies a brand or person, although I have no idea what or who Jazzhands is).  The people at SSC Deusseldorf (again with the: what the?) know that Prose (no idea) is no longer correlated (to what?) so they may want to talk to BlipBlap/PPT (oh sweet baby Jesus) and switch to RRO or maybe Buster Brown (sobbing quietly now), depending on their timeline and budget. Also Rekram deep sigh) is soon to be approved (for what? by whom? oh God), but isn’t yet – so will you email and let them know about that as well.  
Let me know if you have questions!!  :)  Amy

I hope my total confusion was conveyed.

My shower has never been so clean due to this. Literally.  This new job has caused a very, very, very clean shower, because as miserable as cleaning the shower is it is easier then feeling mentally overwhelmed while I am still in training with my new position.

Thankfully I know that I LOVE my new job and all the people I get to work with. I just have not internalized parts of it yet.  I am excited every day to see what new task I can procrastinate and over-think!! Hooray!! 

This has taught me a Tired Girl lesson about procrastination.
Procrastination (along with clutter and jerky people) is a real enemy to Tired Girls.
I am not a procrastinator by nature. But when I don’t know how to do something – I put it off. I decided I wanted to learn how to make a cheesecake and two-years later I got right to and did it.  My stupid shower had soap-scum build up and none of my usual half-ass cleaning tricks worked so a mere 17 years later I took it on. 

When I don’t know how to do something I put it off - did I just say this - I blacked out to avoid thinking about this.  For some of you it may be redecorating your bedroom, losing weight, starting to date again, fixing up your yard, writing a resume, going back to school, teaching your dog not to jump on guests, whatever. No matter how big or little the task is procrastinating about something we need or want that we don’t know how to do takes up precious energy in our Tired Girl souls.  Procrastinating  making a cheesecake for two years?  Not a real big deal.  Procrastinating doing my job for even a second?  Not great.

So I’m going to figure what in the world Jazzhands and SSC Dusseldorf are and why they don’t align or correlate or antagonize or procreate.  You don’t have to do anything you don't want to.  But if you want to procrastinate a little bit longer here is an interesting article about procrastinating (which is a little ironic right?)  Wait But Why article.

Don't worry bosses - I am all in with my new gig, but it took a moment to learn what a Crystal Valley is and how to convey the true nature of a Blip Blap and a Buster Brown. 

What causes you to procrastinate? 

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2014/01/procrastination.html
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Tom T. Hall sings a sweet song where he lists things he loves. It includes things like puppies and bourbon and rain and squirrels and more eloquently written sentences then anything you are about to read.  This is going to sound totally dumb, but I think its a super Tired Girl activity to keep a running list of things we love.  
I also love cardigans - not the sexiest
of  wardrobe pieces - but whatever

The thing on the list are not the big things in life -  I wouldn't add my family to this list or my health  - this is just for the extra loves. 

It's fun when you come across something you love and since you are conscious of it, it's a happy and easy way to have a "moment," like a private reunion between you and something you love. An invisible tip of the hat of appreciation.  It really sounds stupid, but its a teeny way to enjoy the world  without any energy.

The list is not static - items can come and go.

I love dogs.
I love humans that love animals.
I love my doctor.
I love it when people keep the lights on their Christmas tree on during the day.
I love macaroni and cheese.
I love when people say "I know! Right?"
I love beautiful fabric.
I love Paris.
I love the commercial where James Earl Jones and Malcom McDowell use text lingo like "Amazeballs" and "Toats McGoats.  

Here it is - if you would rather watch 30 seconds of super clever writing than do anything else :

I wouldn't mind trying out
the life that goes with this cardigan.

That is just the beginning of my list.

I highly recommend you keep a running list of your loves, in your head atleast. In this new year add some things to your "I Love" list and enjoy the moment when you come across one of your loves. 

Happy New Year Tired Girls. 

One last thing - I unfortunately have the "I don't like" list also - I try not to be conscious of it, but it's there anyway. I don't like when people wave me on in a four-way stop when it's MY turn - they aren't doing me a favor by LETTING me go when it's my turn to go!!  That list is more complicated and eye-roll inducing, so I concentrate on the happier one.

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/12/i-love.html

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Being good at helping other people grieve is, unfortunately, an important skill to have. 
When we witness friends and loved ones suffering or grieving we want to act and often we don't know what to do. The fear of doing the wrong thing in terrible situations is enough to cripple some of us from doing anything. 

I have several friends that have graciously shared their opinions about what helped them when they experienced incredible loss and trauma and I have combined it with my opinions as well.

For the record “grief” is anything that makes a loved one suffer. We all know it when we see it and feel it. We all know the hierarchy of grief – what is the worst compared to something not as bad. Grief is grief though, no matter how the world categorizes certain types of loss.

1) Act quickly – Our own sadness and our uncertainty sometimes gives us pause. A phone call and voicemail is not recommended. Chances are they don’t want to “talk.”  An immediate text, email, facebook or note in the mail is perfect.  Going to their home is important too and I’ll talk about that in number 3.

I once waited two days before going to a friend’s house when her daughter was killed in a car accident.  That felt soon to me, because I didn’t want to “intrude,” and it wasn’t soon enough.  Immediate is best.

2) Do not tell them anything, except:
- how much you love them,
-are thinking of them
-and are so upset for them.

I think things go wrong when people are “told” things – the person/animal is better off, not suffering, God has a plan, you will get over this, it will be okay, it’s not fair, they are with God now, you deserve better, it’s not your fault, etc.  Less is more. Their religion and how they choose to categorize the loss is up to them and maybe you at a later time depending on your relationship.

The goal now is to comfort them immediately, not define the loss. No matter anything about the loss – you are sorry, you love them, and you are here for them.  Period.

3) Go and see them if possible. 

Go as soon as possible – even if it is to stop by their house on your way home, give them a hug and tell them you will be back in two days to help. Or stop by, give them a hug and leave. See them immediately if possible and physically hug them.

When we found out we were not going to be able to adopt the baby we had waited 8 months for, we were in shock.  A dear friend of mine came over to our house and practically walked in. She hugged me and wanted to know every detail. If she had called and asked if she could come over or just told me she was on her way I would have said “No, please don’t come.” I felt a mess and didn’t feel like visiting.  But having her just do it felt so good.  I had several do this when Ralph died as well, and it is weird to me how comforting it was to have people in my home. 

Bring something and not food. I learned this from my friends who lost children.  They didn’t want to eat and there was so much food in the house.  I was told that everyday items were more help (which is our goal). Toilet paper, paper towels, laundry detergent, Ziploc bags, etc. 

-Do something, don’t ask – If there is a key person at the house that is doing a lot, ask them, otherwise, feel free to wipe down the counters, take out the trash, pet and play with the pets. Hand them a drink, make sure they are sitting down when talking to other visitors, answer the door, etc.

If you don’t feel close enough to some one, then just go to the house, hug them, tell them how sorry you are, tell them you will check on them in a couple of days and then leave.

If going to see them is not feasible then mailing a note**/card/flowers/gift/something is nice. None of it will bring someone back or make cancer go away, but it could never hurt to make someone feel loved - in my opinion.

4). Follow up.  Checking on them each week or a few times a month, or a year, or every day, etc - depending on the trauma - is thoughtful. It acknowledges the pain and gives them a chance to talk if they wish.  If it is too painful they will say that too and you can move on easily and talk about other things - acknowledging  something significant and also a distraction are, in my opinion, two very helpful things for people to do. 

I typically deal with most things in my life with humor, but sometimes there is simply no place for jokes or lightening the mood. I hate those places!

** Writing a note can be REALLY HARD!!  Sometimes I just stare at my blank note card. I believe the best thing to say in a note is what I talk about in number 2. Don't say anything except that you love them and you are sorry and you are thinking of them and you are there for them. Death/Cancer/Loss/Divorce/Anything terrible - no matter what - just tell someone you are thinking of them.

What in the hey does this have to do with being a Tired Girl??  I don't know.  I just know that I have needed this skill a lot in the last few years and thought other people may too, so I saved up some energy, did some research and made these Cliff's Notes on how we can help friends and loved ones.  

Anyone have anything to add about this?

P.S.  Are you still reading this? The absolute worst thing to do is nothing. Our discomfort in the face of something terrible needs to be gotten over for the other person's sake.  And on the flip side we don't know exactly what hurts people.  I'd rather make too big of a deal of a break-up or the loss of a hamster than to neglect the hearts of people I care about.   

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/12/how-to-be-good-at-grief.html
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I often over think what clothes to put on each day. Yes, with all the problems in the world and decisions to be made about my career, my health and my fertility and I get stumped on which top to throw on to go to the store.  I did discuss one of my most lazy clothes plans here:  "Jeans make an outfit." 

When I taught school I was pretty good at it. I often started with my shoes to decide how comfortable I felt like being that day (eventually the answer every day was VERY, SERIOUSLY comfortable - I don't even care if I look like a monster) and as I was on my feet a lot as a teacher I liked to vary my shoes so I didn't turn in to a hump back or something that feels like an urban legend, but just in case I wanted to avoid. I am already off track. 

So when I taught school my wardrobe was mostly easy: 1) School clothes. 2) At home clothes. 3)  And being-out-in-public-with-adults-that-won’t- sneeze-on-you clothes (those are the really special items). 

Now that I work from home I strangely over-think the ol' wardrobe.  Though I like to share that I wear my pj's every day I actually don't wear them all day every day (except for lots of times when I  do – and then I yell down to my husband when he gets home "No Judgment - I am still in my pj's!"  

If I admit that I know it is wrong, then there is less chance there will be an intervention. And I am off track again. 

So when I put on actual clothes I make the mistake of SAVING my "good clothes" for some other imaginary event. Or I think “well it's 3pm - I am running errands and then to Publix and then I will just work some more when I get home and make dinner and hang out and go to bed, so I should wear some B team item of clothing.”  I stand in my closet and judge my clothes to see who is nice enough to go in public, but not nice enough to be wasted for some other occasion.  Eventually some "I like, but I don't love it" type top is chosen and I cruise around town in it with my jeans and feel the teeniest bit frumpy, but okay.

I have decided this is totally dumb and I am going to stop doing it. Life is too short or too long to wear clothes that make us feel like butt. 

So my plan: I will slowly and systematically eliminate the clothing that is not bad, but is not that great.  If I only have nice choices then I can only look nice, despite my best efforts to sabotage myself. I am not yet ready however to eliminate some of my less attractive pj's. A shirt with a hole and a stain and two sizes too big still has value to me. AND I am off track again. 

This shirt was initially deemed too nice,
because I am crazy. On a side note I am sorry
I stink at photo taking.
I have a good cause to donate my clothes to and so I don't feel bad - it's a great cycle of life.  A shirt that is perfectly fine and makes me feel 83 years old will be loved by someone else and will raise money for a good cause or whatever.  Sometimes I feel like I practically have to close my eyes to drop clothes in the give-away bag or else I will grab them out and think things like "well, sometimes it's nice to have a shirt that is way too small... oh wait no it's not - give it away!!"  Agh!

I have several pairs of legitimately good jeans that I wear almost every day - and I love them and they fit great and I don't think twice about pulling them on every day and not saving them and some day when they wear out, there will be a new style or my toosh will be a different shape or whatever, and I will buy NEW jeans.  I am trying to have this same feeling with tops and other items. 

So I am getting drastic with my closet, because I know my tendency to go toward the cheap and ill-fitting top, so if I no longer own that top I won't be able to wear it.  

As a Tired Girl I work to make my day and life run as smoothly as possible.  As you know - one of my favorite quotes - "When you look good you feel good, and when you fell good you do good," I wrote about that theory here : "If you look good."

 Eliminating the items that get in my way and I don't love makes this Tired Girl less tired believe it or not. 

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/12/outfits-that-are-too-nice-but-really.html
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While visiting a dear friend in Atlanta this fall, I was robbed.  I made the poor choice to leave my purse in the back seat of her car while we stepped away for a few minutes.  In that time the jerks smashed her car window, swiped my purse and started the process of trying to make some transactions.  While my friend smartly called the cops (the police report helped me get on the plane), all I could do was stand there, numb, and think about how I was going to get on the plane in an hour to go home. I momentarily forgot that my whole identity was in that purse, and when I finally got practical I called my husband and he had all my cards, etc. shutdown in a matter of seconds. Go Joe!!

I made it on the plane after lots of stops through TSA. And was humbled by the fact that I didn't have any chapstick or even a dollar to my name to buy a water.  It was a real lesson to have NOTHING for a few minutes - not a real study, or view at how others truly live, but still thought-provoking to me.  

this happened - 

ANYWAY, my point in writing this is not to look for sympathy as it was my own dumb move to leave my purse in her car, but to share one small  Tired Girl tip. 

Make a copy - right now- of the front and back of your drivers license.  Do it.  Having a copy of  both sides of your license will enable you to order a new license online (at least in Florida) and not go through all the steps of having to obtain a new one.  You can also use the copy when the original is lost (or brutally ripped from your innocence).  Just to show who you are - just in case. You could also take a photo of the front and back and email the photos to yourself and then erase the photo off your phone. 

Without an ID or any credit/debit cards you are crazy screwed though. And as a Tired Girl the last thing I was interested in (while still traumatized) was making my daily routine infinitely more complicated with stops at every federal agency.  I was super effected by the vulnerability I felt after this criminal act.  I needed more time to plan my future agoraphobic lifetsyle and less time spent re-creating my identity.  The process to get a new license (if I couldn't have just ordered a new one) would require several different forms of ID - one of which is a Social Security card - which by bum luck I had just put in my wallet for another reason and not removed when I went to Atlanta. So I didn't even have that on my side. Passport was expired, etc. - you see where this was going. 

I won't bore you with the details of the tribulations of losing your whole wallet, but as you can guess it is no picnic.  I did have the presence of mind to call my doctors office to see if they had a copy of my ID in my file.  They did and I was on my way to simply re-ordering a new ID and then everything could follow easily. As soon as I got my new card I made a copy of the front and back as well as my husband's and several other cards as well.

A few months later I still have to remind myself that it was just "stuff" that I lost - but it was stuff I liked and valued and some of it is irreplaceable.  My poor friend's window part was more complicated then you would have thought as well and she drove around windowless for two weeks.  The two people that broke her window and stole my purse were arrested and in are still in jail as they had prior issues.  So what a lot of energy wasted for everyone. 

Oh one last teeny thing - I also went to buy new face powder and lipgloss that was lost with my purse and I had no idea what those two perfect colors were. Sand 2 and Beige 1 and Glimmer Glint and Bubble Blitz look surprisingly similar in the florescent lights of the store.  So, some day if you are stuck in traffic, or waiting in line or avoiding your work responsibilities then make a note of the items in your purse and their colors, etc.  And also don't put your purse in the back seat of a car and also just don't leave your house.

Anyone else have a happy tip after important items are stolen?   

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/12/robbed.html

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This is one of the more condescending sentences I have thought in a while: Let your spouse help you. I bet every husband and wife out there is so pleased that I am giving permission to LET them HELP you. It is a real thing though that Tired Girls should consider.

Years ago Joe and I were having a "discussion" about "things" getting done, and in the heat of the moment he said these words:

"If you really want to help out around here you can ..." And then he named some meaningless chore that was hotly contested at the time.

We both froze at the ridiculousness of the statement - "If I really want to help out?" Where to begin.

Luckily - for everyone's safety - as the words left his lips and reached my ears we both started laughing. It is now a happy joke in our house - after working long days at home and at work we will, smilingly, say to each other "If you really want to help out around here you can --  and then we name some huge task like "invent something imperative that every human needs so we can retire wealthy tomorrow and watch movies all day."

The truth is though that it is important to let your spouse help out so that everyone can move along in life. When Joe loads the dishwasher and I later open the dishwasher, honestly, I flinch hard at the use of space and placement of the dishes. Is there a split second where I want to rearrange the whole place so things fit and work and all that? Yes! Is that a good use of time to RE-DO an already done task? Not really. Especially, for a Tired Girl. Instead I suck it up, close the dishwasher, hug and kiss him for loading it and we both skip off to relax or do something fun together. Not so much skipping as just walking, but it seems more carefree to skip. Joe has probably never skipped.

I am very sure that when I weed or do anything much in the yard he looks at my "done" area and flinches hard as well, but is thankful that one bed is less messy than it was, so he hugs and kisses me and thanks me for weeding and we drink a beer and lay in the grass and are done in the yard for the day.

I could give you a list of tasks like this - things the other person does in a way different than you would do and it's in the best interest of your life to let it go most of the time. Yes, there is a little training involved, so to speak, on everyone's part so that things get done well, but that can happen over time.  LOTS and LOTS of good can come from this and I am sure you can infer all the subtleties, and in the end, us Tired Girls get more done when we have help.
There is a scene in the movie "Date Night" with Tina Fey and Steve Carrell, where she is exhausted and he is trying to help her and she just plans to do it all herself, because he doesn't do the things "right." Later in the movie they get it all worked out, but don't make yourself go through all that.

Let some things go, let your spouse help.

Joe does our Christmas cards every year - here is our photo from 2006.
I fought him for the first few years trying to get in on the fun and and give my two cents. 
Now, I have let go, it is all his, he does an awesome job,
and it's one less thing for the holiday season for me.

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/11/let-your-spouse-help-you.html

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There really is a thing called Sunday Blues.  "Some" (someone who studies stuff) have linked it to a mild depression caused from different sleep patterns that occur at the end of the week or weekend (blah blah blah), and "others" (most people) just dread the work and reality of Monday.

Regardless of the level of love or trauma that my various jobs have caused ( I had nightmares about my boss from Neiman Marcus for years) I spend Sunday asking myself this question:

Do I work on Sunday so that Monday is easier?  (doing laundry, making my lunch or breakfsat or dinners for the week, doing actual work work to get "ahead," etc - I have never been ahead in my life incidentally - so that one was a joke choice).   

Or do I just relax and have fun and start Monday in a deficit?"  

What do you choose? Each Sunday is different for me.

A few Sundays ago I worked all morning, took the rest of the day off and had a fabulous Monday because of it, and this week's Sunday I had good intentions, but couldn't even get close to my computer, nor could I acknowledge the laundry or the kitchen - just had fun and cruised in to Monday.

Dramatic much?  Classic "My So Called Life" teen angst.
When I work on a Sunday I feel grumpy, but prepared for the week. When I just have fun all day Sunday I feel much happier, but I have to scramble more throughout the week. 

I do not have treatment or a solution , but as a Tired Girl I am simply acknowledging the existence of this stupid Sunday struggle.  

It is days like this that I think about the movie "Bernard and Doris"  in which Susan Sarandon plays the heiress Doris Duke (serious money) and one of the most interesting parts of the movie is watching her wealth - her unbelievable wealth.  

Every so often I let my brain go that place - like "I feel so pooped and achey what if I didn't actually have to make dinner, but instead sat down in my  reading room with my ipad and someone brought me a gin and tonic and a glass of water and some grapes and then, when it was time, I was served dinner by someone else who made it and cleaned it up and before bed someone also put the air on the temperature I like to sleep at - and you see where this is going.  Do people in that level of wealth have the Sunday struggle?  They may, but I would be willing to try it out and see.

Not a bad point. My only idea for a treatment was to make sure you have a dog or cat to snuggle with.  That makes everything better. And then I thought if you have kids they may bring you comfort as well and then I realized what about the poor spouse - if they are nice they too should bring happinees and comfort, so hopefully you have one you like.  Otherwise the companiionship of a dog or cat can really be the way to go.

As a Tired Girl what do you choose for your Sundays?

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/11/sunday-struggle.html
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When I was in college my friend Lacey and I were planning a night out with some friends, which included boys that were totally interesting to us.  In our typical over analysis of ourselves I declared I wanted to be more "intriguing" and she wanted to be more "outgoing." So we decided to spend that evening trying to be those things. I would not shout my opinions at anyone that would listen, like usual - to instead increase "intrigue" - I had plenty of mystery in me, I just needed to try it. And she was not going to let the other person do all the talking and instead really put herself out there in a more "outgoing" way. She is brilliant, and well-read, and so funny, and wonderful so there wasn't a lack of things for her to contribute - she just had to say it.
The result was predictable to probably everyone but us - we were stinking miserable. I worked all evening not to explode with my thoughts  and keep up the intrigue, and she looked like she'd been pushed out on to a stage with no routine planned.

After that boondoggle of an evening we decided we were who we were, for better or worse, and frankly we wanted a boy that wanted us for us.  Thankfully we both have that now.

This card hangs in my office and seriously gets my
butt in gear every time I read it, which is almost everyday.
The truth is I would love to be a Senator, or a professor, or run a successful company, but I also want to work from my home and wear pajamas and sew poorly constructed gifts for my loved ones, and write happy and vaguely unprofessional emails to my friends.  It's tough to be a Senator if Uggs are your chosen footwear I would guess.

This may sound totally shitty to a lot of you - so I am sorry in advance.  But sometimes we are who we are.  And even though I work to be better at who I am all the time there is a point where I may not ever be certain things.

Being a good and responsible person is a necessity - no free passes on that, and that is not what I mean in this instance.  None of this - "I am not good at not saving any money so I will just buy whatever I want - he he he," crap.

Not a great Senatorial campaign platform.
However, there is a real solid chance that I may never be Senator Alexander from the great state of Florida and co-chair of the Environment and Public Works committee.  

And I am definitely keeping my options open, but it's also not bad that I know that I like to get in bed early and I like to be with my family a lot and I would get nervous if I was interviewed on TV about why I voted a certain way for something and I would make some kooky joke, because I am a tad informal and I'm pretty sure no one is looking for a quirky, highly emotional, sleepy, creative Senator. "New Girl" as a Senator?  Probably not. 

This is my own - long winded of course - version of this same idea. 

OH!  One last thought.  Jackie Kennedy painted her whole life and every year she painted her mom a picture and every year her mom replaced the previous year's painting with the new one and hung it lovingly inside her clothes closet.  Has anyone ever been to an art exhibit of Jackie Kennedy's art work? Nope.  Buts she painted anyway, not to become a famous artist, but just for the joy.

So, just to wrap this up - It's good for us Tired Girls to WANT big things in life, but it's also good to work with what we got.  Lacey and I, back in the day, worked with what he had and had a perfectly great college experience. I wasn't very intriguing, but whatever.

Any semi-dreams you have realized, lately, aren't for you?  What a question.

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/10/being-somebody-you-are-not.html

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I have tried acupuncture and I like it.  It's complicated, and I am neither endorsing nor discouraging this whacky and awesome idea of sticking needles in your body as treatment!  A a Tired Girl though I am open to things that will make my life a little less tired. I am going to tell about my experience, in case you simply want to know more about it from someone you sort of know (me!).

My experience:

- I had the name of an acupuncturist that had her own practice, but she never called me back after two calls, and obviously that was not a great sign.

- I found a group that was close to me, with no idea if the office or acupuncturists were "good" or not. I decided that driving a shorter distance would be beneficial to the experience and I was just in the mood to go for it, with little research, frankly.

- I stopped in one day to get a feel for the office and make an appointment. The group I chose also did physical therapy which made it seem more "medical office-ish." There were people in the waiting room, but they could also get me in in a timely manner, and that felt like a good mix.  I did find myself discussing personal matters through the window of the receptionists, so a phone call could be a good idea instead of going in. "Fertility and Allergies" I said loudly so she could hear me when she asked me what my health issue was. It just boiled down to that - if they could "fix" or help either, I would be pleased.
This is a Lichtenstein that I took liberties with. 

- They gave me paperwork to fill out and bring back at my first appointment - general health and history along with other things - how I sleep and eat and things like that.

- My first appointment was fun. I was in a small examining room with a massage table, sink and 2 chairs. I brought my fertility file with me and the acupuncturist looked over it and we discussed lots of health things - big and little things. It almost felt like therapy. She was totally interested in minute details of my life. Then she felt my pulse for a long time - they "listen" to your organs.  I always ask what they hear and they often say similar things - "Oh, you are tired today!"  Ha!  "You are depleted." Or, something about my poor circulation.  Stuff like that. One time I was told that "something was in my throat" which I was told meant that I had something to say, but wasn't saying it.  Always something to think about it.
- Then she looked at my tongue for a little bit and wrote some stuff down. I was never totally clear about what my tongue said - there was always a lot to take in.

- The first few months we were focused on both allergies and fertility - they (you know "they") feel that everything in your body is connected so if one area is off everything can be.

- So some days I would take off my clothes leaving on my underwear, but not bra and put on a hospital gown open in the back. They leave the room for you to get settled. Then I would lie on a massage table with the opening cut out of the head part so you can lay your face down in and breathe. She would put a towel over my toosh and legs and open my gown in the back. She often massaged my back a bit and then put acupuncture needles in different spots in my back, back of my legs, feet, and sometimes my ears and the top of my head.  She would tear open a new package for each needle and kind of tap/hammer them in to me.  It sounds horrible, but it really isn't.  It does hurt when they go in, but just a tiny pinch. Sometimes I wince and osmetimes I don't even notice.  Once they are in they rarely hurt.  All of my acupuncturists would ask if any of the needles hurt, and if they did they would adjust them.  Certain times of the month the needles hurt more - weird right? I would assume there are variations for men as well. Once they are in you can't feel anything.

- Some days I would leave all my clothes on and lay on my back on the table. I would lift my shirt up just a little and undo the button and zipper on my pants and the acupuncture needles would go in my stomach and abdomen area, my ankles, feet, hands, head and ears.

- Almost every time a few of the needles were hooked up to a little machine.  I was told which needles to feel for and when I felt a slight pulse I would tell the acupuncturist and they would leave the pulse there. It was just a slight vibration and after a minute or so I couldn't feel anything at all. Then a warming lamp was turned on over me - which felt awesome! Who knew? The lights were turned off and I was left to lay there and have the best 20 minutes of crazy great relaxation.

There is more to say - so my next acupuncture post I will discuss cost, effects, other variations in treatment and my overall view of my personal experience and acupuncture in general. 

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/09/acupuncture.html 
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Acupuncture 2 - the sequel!! 
In my last post about acupuncture I discussed how I got started with the treatment - you can read about it here

I was pretty skeptical, honestly, that this treatment had healing powers. After my first visit though, I felt noticeably better. I had that feeling of deep, deep relaxation - like after you have worked out really hard and you are spent, and happy, and relaxed. Or after yoga - where you are a nice mix of relax and energized. I decided that even if this process didn't cure or even treat my sinus issues or infertility that the treatment made me feel good and that can be helpful in itself. 

So at $75 a pop (yowsa! and not covered by my insurance, although some insurance does cover it) it felt pricey, but I was pretty desperate. I was coming off months of one sinus infection after another, coupled with my inability to conceive. I paid up front for several visits and got a discount in the amount of one or two "free" visits. 

The treatments were usually pretty similar - either I laid on my front or my back - needles in the same areas and hooked up to the electronic device and warming lamp. For $12 I could have gone to the tanning bed and been pretty relaxed (I secretly LOVE the tanning bed), but obviously the tanning bed is a poor choice. Cancer is so out. The acupuncture feels medicinal and therapeutic all at once. 

Sometimes I got to have "cupping" done - which is weirdly awesome. They oil your back, and create a suction in a cup and then stick it to your back where it suctions all up on you. I would only have a few at a time and my first acupuncturist (and my friend now) would move them around like a massage. I loved it - said in that high pitched Oprah way! It did slightly bruise my back up - which is the point. If you are interested you can read about cupping here. Apparently there was a time period where cupping was super "IN "in Hollywood and crazy skinny celebs would go out wearing tanks that revealed their cupping bruises. It wasn't quite as admired in my house. Do NOT google image search "cupping bruising" unless you have already tried it and you know it doesn't hurt - those images were NOT cool.

I guess they just had to wear a strapless top that night.
So, I was pretty regular at my acupuncture spot for a few months until Joe and I decided to take a break with baby stuff and I got my new job where I worked from home, and sweet little darling children that I was crazy about didn't sneeze on me all day and I wasn't sick any more (harp music). 

About a year or so later I went back when we started IVF. I decided it would make me feel good to do acupuncture with IVF - there were mixed reviews about if it helped or not and I felt that the relaxation I got couldn't hurt and could only help. I had 2 different acupuncturists during this time period and each had different styles and both were wonderful. It was good to see different styles and also to learn that though the styles differed the effect was still positive and similar. 

During this time I had a treatment each week called "moxibustion" which you can read about by clicking on it. It treats different things, but for me it was targeted to help with my endometriosis and help with my circulation to help the IVF process. The moxibustion was also an awesome treatment for me, and basically consists of putting little lighted discs on the needles. Like smoking discs. I do not know what I am trying to say here - my tired girl brain just kicked in, so I need to wrap up. So, things were lightly burning near me which seems kooky and I enjoyed, so whatever. 

not my body, but what moxibustion can look like - source
After a few months of no luck with IVF and lots of time at my acupuncturist I felt less relaxed as I laid there and thought about other things I needed to be doing and the money I was spending - so maybe it's that theory of diminishing returns or whatever. I just needed a break of full time IVFing and at that time acupuncture felt a part of that. I wanted less scheduled visits places and more time to veg. So I am on an acupuncture break. 

I would like to go once a month just for a treat and for maintenance on certain things. But for now, I am temporarily feeling "anti" almost everything. 

In the end I love acupuncture and the way it makes me feel. Whether my acupuncture did anything more for me at that time, other than relax me, I will never know, but relaxation - especially then - felt like a step in the right direction. If money were no object I would go all the time. I would happily make time in this Tired Girl world for acupuncture.

Any other Tired Girls want to share their acupuncture thoughts? 

 Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/10/acupuncture-2.html
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When my sweet dog Ralphie died, my sadness manifested in anxiety.  The first day after his death my husband and I went on a long walk and sweat and cried out our sadness.  We have continued to take a walk almost every day since then, and sometimes twice a day. 

The days that I have not exercised in some way have been harder days for me this summer; they are the days I am more anxious and more upset.  So it doesn't take a rocket scientist to make this jump.  Exercise helps with lots of things - sadness and anxiety being added to the list. 

I have not lost any weight with all of this movement because it turns out when you are sad (or happy or hungry or tired) you (read: me) want to eat cinnamon rolls and hamburgers by the handful.  And when you are sad (or happy or hungry or tired) you (read: me) do it.

The beauty in this walking plan though is that I am moving and exercising because I want to, because I will feel better, not because I am forcing myself and then negating it by pigging out later and then feeling guilty - oh God the cycle!!

This is exercise for energy.  Exercise for a peaceful mind. 

The unexpected death of my dog represented more to me than just the simple loss of a loving pet, and as I said, anxiety took hold.  I have had mild anxiety before and I assume I will again at some point.  I also will move past this part of my life and I may slip back to my old habits of feeling happy to lay around more than less. It is good to know though for the days (or weeks) where I am sad, anxious, stressed, depressed or whatever that I have a tool at my fingertips.  So I am happy to be a Tired Girl if I am simply tired from this kind of therapeutic exercise. 

If you are going to make poor food choices, make GOOD poor food choices.  Sister Schubert's cinnamon's rolls are the best.  They sell them at Publix and not at Wal-Mart, incase it's an emergency and you only have time to stop at one store to get them.  Also don't eat these over the sink because when a big chunk falls off you will be annoyed that you wasted that chunk when you could have just gotten a plate.  Also see my post where I am trying to kick this habit - weight watchers. Sigh

This was found in the "cry for help" section on www.someecards.com.  Not cool. 

This poorly taken photo is of one of my favorite moisture-wicking shirts that I walk in.  I got a few at Marshall's and this "Avia" top was like $7.99  It's moisture wickingness makes miserably hot walks more bearable.  Of course I heart Marshall's. 

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/09/exercise-to-help-anxiety.html
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One reason some of us are Tired Girls - 

"Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. This is why everyone is struggling.” -Tina Fey

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/09/tina-fey-is-right.html
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I am living in an energy deficit.  I am in the red.  I work all day, each day during the week specifically to get the big things done - my full time job and the basics at home: food and laundry, cleaning up enough to not live in a pig sty and paying the bills - those are the basics. I also sleep (at night) and check facebook, and exercise and talk to my husband and mom and maybe a friend or too, I shower and sometimes I pluck my eyebrows and also buy paper towels and shampoo at Target. I get THINGS done, but I rarely get ahead.  

It infuriates me that I so rarely get to look at the other list of stuff, the interesting things or important, but not immediately pressing things.  I have one closet full of belongings that I don't know what to do with and strangely that one closet is standing between me and total serenity and I NEVER get to that closet.  There is not enough energy/time left to take on that stupid effing closet once I get all the daily stuff done.  I had a teeny meltdown about it today and it reminded me of a post I shared a few months ago.  
Here is a pair of what I think are very pretty shoes that I have
photographed to sell on ebay (because when you work from
you don't normally wear heels around the house), but I have yet
actually list them.
Today I feel mad that I am a Tired Girl and not an Energetic Girl - my eyes are all squinty and glarey about it.  So, to pump myself  up and remind myself that to have the good life I have to work a little harder then my body instinctively cares to do. 

I am going to try and channel my anger this week into pushing myself harder,  because I have interests, damn it, that are outside of just basic survival and I need to get some stuff done.

Here is my post from March. 

A friend of mine posted this on her Facebook page last week.  I'm pretty sure the guy in this pic is talking about his abs, which is cool for him.
this dude's version of pushing harder MAY be different than my version

Unlike many things on Facebook that we scroll over, this really stuck with me, but not in relation to my abs (poor abs - so neglected*). 

Every day, because of this quote, I pushed just a little bit harder at different parts of my day to have a better tomorrow - even if it was something like read a few more pages in my book at night before falling asleep (I have a huge stack of books I want to read and it's hard to get through them when I fall asleep after one page OR accidentally shop for shoes on my ipad instead of reading any of them). 

 I won't bore you, with the laundry list of things I worked harder at - you would really understand what a Tired Girl I am if I told you, and possibly think my existence was small, or that I am a weensy bit koo-koobeans or something. So just assume I pushed harder at mastering existentialism or something kick-ass like that. 

I just thought I'd share this, in case this gym poster changed your whole life, like it may have changed mine. 

*Ab workout is on the to-do list that I lost.

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/08/mad-about-being-tired-girl.html

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For no particular reason I am working to remember my life. 

Growing up, my family moved about every two years. My dad's job with Westin hotels brought us all over the country.  This made remembering parts of my life easy.  Someone says something about 1988 and I remember where I lived, what grade I was in and what my house and bedroom were like in 1988, because a year later I was in a different grade and a different house - perfect time capsules.  It compartmentalizes my brain and makes recall easy.  Now as an adult I don't move houses every two years and I have similar jobs and the same husband and friends and clothes and in Florida it's the same season all year and so things get blurry.  What year did we first start trying to get pregnant?  How many years have I taught?  When did I buy my car?  What year did we go to San Francisco?  The answer to almost all those questions is - "I don't know." The bigger question is - why am I trying to remember - why do I care?  The answer there is the same. "I don't know."

It's no help that now that we are in the 2000's and 2003 feels the same as 2007 when I picture the number in my brain. The 80's didn't feel that way. 

Years ago I created what I call my "timeline." I won't say that Facebook stole this term from me as Zuckerberg doesn't know my brain, but I did use it before he went public with it. Whatever.

My timeline is a document on my computer that lists each month of each year and starts when I graduated high school. I only have a few things written each month from back then as I didn't remember the mega details when I started my timeline, but in more recent years my months are a little more detailed.  I write a few months at a time and write big and small things for the month.  Where I work, mixed with a movie we saw that month, a big purchase, or a mini-trip, my mood, my health, our ages, etc.  It's not in sentence form, just words.  

One month I won't forget: November 2006 - Got married!

Here is a less interesting month (my comments are strangely personal, especially once we are working to get pregnant, so I had to find one that wasn't salacious)  - October of 2002:
 "Oct - living in Lakeland; hired at McBride’s campaign; Miami trip w/ Joe and campaign, met Clinton, drank bloody marys"

Thrilling I know. I refer to my timeline often though - for different things and it's also fun to see my state of mind or activities.  Sometimes I will write one word and it means a huge big thing to me.  This is the Tired Girl's version of journaling.

Every so often I email the document to myself in google so if all of my computers crashed and my thumb drives disappeared I have a new copy for myself living in cyberspace.  

I admit there have been years that I have gotten way behind or looked back at a year and thought man that was a rinky dink year - nothing remarkable for a 12 whole months, or some months that hurt to even read my comments. Writing down a few things from each month doesn't take much energy at all though, and sure has a big impact in the long run.  Some day when my timeline is 35 pages long I can look back at my whole life!  

And my last two statements about this - if you are still awake.
1) If it feels too overwhelming to go back and remember, or you have times/years you want to forget, then don't go back. Just start from this month - August of 2013 can be the beginning of your whole life. Hooray!

2) Be honest in your words - this is only for you to look at so put the truth, in the long run you'll be glad to see what you were really doing and really felt. I have plenty of months and whole years I wouldn't want anyone to see.

Anyone else have an easy, Tired Girlish way that they keep track of their lives? 

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/08/a-quick-way-to-remember-your-whole-life.html

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Though I am mostly a people person, I occasionally go in to hermit-mode.  Hermit-mode is what it sounds like - I retreat in to my shell - hermit style. I practically envision myself pulling all my little hermit crab limbs inward and closing my hermit crab shell door.  Click.  

For a few weeks or more emails and phone calls go un-answered.  Parties unattended. 
Make-up un-worn. Facebook status updates un-typed and un-"liked." And apparently blog posts unwritten.

I am not sad and not more tired than usual, this is not a depression, just a total decompression. It is not conscious until I'm in the throes of it, and then I realize it is happening, and then I settle in.  And frankly I highly recommend it.

For me it typically occurs over the summer. When I taught at a regular school I would shut down for a few weeks over the summer knowing I would be fully rested when school started. Now that I teach from home, summer is my busiest time for work, but a hermit-style attitude still works for me. 

I have a friend that goes in to hermit-mode after Christmas - her January is spent all closed up.

I wish that "hermit-mode" was a real thing though.  It's all about me and no one else and so I don't want people's feelings hurt when I don't acknowledge them for weeks at a time.  I wish I could change my facebook setting to "Hermit-Mode."

I wish I could type people these few words and have it mean something:  

"Dear Friend, Hermit-mode, love The Tired Girl."

And they would say "Oh sure, sure she's in hermit-mode, of course." 

The loss of my beloved dog has simply made this year’s hermit-mode more pronounced, possibly longer and with decidedly more crying involved than a usual season.

I borrowed this sign from some one the internet, then edited it to read my words.
So I did not take this photo - I just edited the heck out of it.

I would assume that most Tired Girls and maybe even some not-so-tired girls go in to this, as it is a feeling independent of being a Tired Girl.

Does anyone have a more charming name for it than hermit-mode?

Does anyone have favorite hermit-type activities they enjoy when in this frame of mind? Hermits watch movies, right?

Does anyone do it regularly – planned or not – the way I do?

Does anyone mind that I am incredibly uninteresting tonight – my hermitness has affected my brain.  

This is apparently a book. I love the idea of setting up a "crabitat," but that would entail planning, movement, thinking and being actively engaged - all of which are not parts of hermit-mode.

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/08/hermit-mode-its-thing.html
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As Tired Girls it may be easier to not pursue the good life. I could have called this blog just the Tired Girl, and given ideas for how to get out of things in life. Despite my tired-girlness though, I want to have it all. To feel, act, sleep, eat, look, love and live well. Eating cereal every night, not having flower planters by my front door of my house, not picking up the bits of messiness that accumulate around my place certainly would make me less tired, but - I want the good life.

For me, a huge part of my good life was my sweet baby-dog Ralphie the bloodhound. He died this past weekend. Our dear friend Dr. "Uncle" Wade performed emergency surgery to remove cancerous tumors on Ralph's spleen. The surgery was a success, but the cancer had taken too large a toll on our boy and he slipped away peacefully afterward. He was - as my husband so eloquently put it "our collective love and focus" for nine years and we are quite simply heartbroken.

The point of this post is not for me to immobilize my keyboard with tears or to slump into the unbearable pain, or to try and make you snort away tears at your desk thinking of your beloved pet or the last time you saw our Ralph.

The point of this post is to stress the idea that to pursue the good life means we are often choosing to ignore the easy life, the safe life. If my husband and I had chosen not to have a dog we certainly would have less slobber on our walls, more money, more time and a bunch of other stuff I guess, but by choosing to have a pet we truly enjoyed the good life. The joy our Ralph brought us far outweighed any of the perceived trouble. I happily hand-made Ralphies's food the last couple years of his life - certainly not a tired girl activity, but I skimped in other areas to acquire the time for what mattered to me, which was him.

I taught a student once whose mother worked from 4am-10am every day at Subway to make extra money so her daughter could train as a gymnast -- and... that mom smiled every stinking time I was with her. I bet she was a serious Tired Girl, but she was working for the good life for herself and her daughter. I would bet she thought less about Subway during her day and more about the joy she felt watching her daughter practice.

This morning I worked to compile every photo I have of Ralph onto one thumb drive. Even the photo file labeled "new refrigerator" on my computer has photos of him (of course one of him looking at the new fridge!). One short video I came across was of Ralph and my husband, Joe, lying on our bed. Ralph was barking-talking to us. In the video I can hear myself laughing. Not a giggle, but like a deep down laugh. That was how I felt about being with him - a deep, sincere sense of pleasure. That is the good life to me.

I could write a novel about what I learned from our Ralphie, what he meant to us, how he saved me, how smart and quirky and human-like he was, what we will miss the most, and to ask the questions about how I will heal.

Instead I hope you will consider what you have, or do, or work for to have the good life for yourself.

A large loving, slobbery, tail wagging, humor-inducing piece of my good life now will serve as an intangible joy in my heart, and I will continue to work for the good life in other ways as well. I will do things like refill a pretty soap dispenser by my kitchen sink instead of having a big soap bottle because I think that looks nicer. In little and big ways I am Tired Girl who wants the Good Life.

My sweet boy made my life more than good - even if he isn't here anymore to slobber on the other parts of my good life.

I have approximately 27 hundred, 2 million, 33 thousand photos of Ralph. None of them feel good enough to represent his charm.

Next time I will share more light-hearted ideas, like the great eyeliner I have discovered and crap like that. But today I am enjoying thinking about how Ralph made this Tired Girl's life good.

What does living the good life mean to you?

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/07/having-good-life_25.html
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Tired or not, sometimes there is a lot to get done.

Tired Girl Jamie and I worked very closely for a time period, we were an official "Team" at the company we work at.  During that time we would email everyday about what we had done and what our goals were the next day etc.  One of us - I think it was her - said one evening that tomorrow she was going to "do everything" the next day.  Ha! 

So that became our joke - we traded emails back and forth - This week, tomorrow, on Tuesday, etc.  "I am going to do everything."  Because that is how the list feels.

Today I am going to  -
clean the whole house, get totally caught up at work, get groceries, cook dinner, run on the treadmill, pay bills, mail my thank you notes and neaten up the garage, master my new camera, iron my husband's shirts, start the book by my bed and find a good eyeliner that works.  Today I will  "do everything!" 

As a Tired Girl, sometimes I can barely change from pj's to jeans to go out in the world, and yet the list in my head is often simply "do everything today."

I don't have a solution to this.  It sucks.

So instead I do some things and other things the next day and some things never I guess, or not yet.  I literally thought to myself the other day - "I am going to send that book to that person" - a book we discussed LITERALLY two and half years ago!  Not cool.

But when things suck it feels good to laugh about them - I think.  That's my coping mechanism any way.  So when the list gets longer and longer in my head I just think: Today I will do everything!  And I realize the ridiculousness of the list (and expectations) I have created for myself. 

Here is a clip from the widely unacclaimed movie "I don't Know How She Does it," with Sarah Jessica Parker.  I like the movie because I am the target audience, but no one else in the world seemed to like it.  Regardless, you only have to watch the first 58 seconds of this clip and you will be saying - "Oh that's me.."  Or maybe you won't.  I don't know.

You'll like this clip though.  And if you are at work and supposed to be working you really don't even need the sound.  Nothing says "I'm definitely not working over here," than the sounds of Sarah Jessica Parker's voice coming from your office.

Anyone have a solution for the "Do everything today!" syndrome?

At least I didn't scratch off "do nothing."  Although sometimes I want to put the most mundane things on my list just so I can scratch them off. 

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/07/just-do-everything.html
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Go to funerals.  Don’t go for fun of course, you weirdos; go because it's the loving thing to do for people that are important to us. 

There was a time when I was so deeply exhausted from my job and chronic sinus issues that my husband would practically hand me a dress and tell me what time to be in the car to leave for a funeral service.  The whole way I would grumble that I had things to do (like sleeping) and we should just write them a lovely note and that would mean more than showing up with tons of other people, and I didn’t even know the person, and also I didn’t want to go. This feels terrible to admit now (I was a Very Sick and Tired Girl back then - now I am just normal tired).

Time after time though I would see the looks on these friend’s faces when we would hug them before or after the service and I could tell it meant a lot that we were there for them.  And often when we see these friends/acquaintances/business partners/etc. they tell others about us: “These guys came to my grandmother’s funeral!” 

So I do things like buy in twos and do leg lifts while I dry my hair to allow extra energy to build up so that I can spend it on people that are important to me.  I feel less tired when I make others feel loved.

On a side note I have come to cherish celebrating a person's life and learning about their legacy to those that were important to them.  

And on a light note I think watching a New Orleans Jazz Funeral Procession would really be something awesome. 


This is not a Tired Girl  source

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/04/go-to-funerals.html
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It is important that we don't compare ourselves to other people.  For like lots of reasons. Tired Girls especially should not fall in to this, because it just makes us feel bad when we are NOT Senators at the age of 30, or don't have six children and also run a Fortune 500 children's clothing company from the corner of our kitchen, or don't even exercise every day.  Comparing myself to other people, mostly women, rarely goes well for me.

I know this, and so I enjoy a fashion magazine with a critical eye, knowing they have airbrushed each body . Every face and head of hair have been professionally done as well.  If Bobbi Brown did my makeup every day I would look better too.

So, I was surprised last week when I let my comparisons (read: jealousy) get away from me.  I was looking througha Southern Living and came across a beautiful "lake house"  (read: mansion) spread, complete with photos of the place and the charming couple that get to own it.  They even had a cute little BMW convertible parked in front of the lake house.  Ugh.  I don't need a gorgeous lake house, filled with linen slip-covered furniture and expensive rugs, or a BMW, or a trillion dollars, or a dock with adirondack chairs, but MAN did I want those things when I was looking at this article.

This innocent photograph pushed me over the edge.  Source 
I immediately starting looking around my house and my brain trying to figure out what I could do, or sell or make, or whatever so that I could create a huge amount of wealth for my family.  At that point, just being comfortable wasn't enough - I needed BIG money.

Sooo, you see where this is going - exactly nowhere. I basically spent a few days being annoyed that I, at age 35, didn't own a mansion-lakehouse-second home.  And then I realized that even though I am on to the fashion magazines and their airbrushing of women's bodies, I let everything else get in to my head!  I let myself think that most people have beautiful homes, and perfect meals every night, and loads of energy to wash and fold and put away clothes all in one day, and flat stomachs.   I don't know if other people do or not have these things, but the truth is I don't, and I can only do what I can do.

Comparing myself and my lack of a lake house gets me nowhere except to grumpy town.

Marlo Thomas, daughter of comedian and actor Danny Thomas, tells a story about how her dad encouraged her to "run her own race in life."  He gave her a gift of horse blinders and told her, essentially, not to compare herself to other people. I guess it's better for horses not to see the other horses or something or it screws them all up (message!!!)  It makes me infinitely more tired when I see what I have not accomplished yet in life compared to other people.

So this Tired Girl is going to calm down, enjoy looking at the beautiful homes and ideas in my magazines and not over think this crap. I am going to "run my own race in life" and I realistically will probably be running that race by really just walking slowly in my pjs.

I mean whatever.  Source

Anything ever put you over the edge and make you feel less than adequate?  Don't let it!!  But tell me what it is anyway, so I feel better. 

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I am not a very good napper, but as I am whooped by the end  (or middle) of the day I have been trying to teach myself how to Power Nap.

In the past it took me so long to come down and turn my brain off, that once I went to sleep I stayed asleep for an hour or more, and then felt worse afterward.  And I felt super lazy.  
An old picture of Ralphie dog who took his nap into the bed this day.  It's easy to get in the nap mood with this guy around.

Short naps are beneficial for lots of reasons and as I have been getting better at them I have found that I feel good (not gross and groggy and angry) after a SNAP (short nap) of about 15-30 minutes, and I am way more productive throughout in the day.  I still sleep well at night, but don't have that overly tired-my-body-weighs-a-thousand-pounds-I'm-going to-die-if-I-don't-get-to-sleep-this-instant feeling.

Since I work at home I can SNAP at any part of the day, though the 2 o'clock hour calls my name.  When I taught school I would often get home, do a few things and lie down for like 15 minutes and close my eyes.  Even that little bit was beneficial for the rest of my evening.

Some days don't even allow a 15-30 minute break - I get it. Some days go by and I wonder if I brushed my teeth.  

But on the days that do allow a short break, here are my thoughts to get you going.

1)  Don't feel guilty - this is going to make you more productive, and probably nicer.

2) Turn the ringer/sound off on all phones (All it takes for me is one small bing somewhere in my house and I assume the best news of my life has just been emailed to me and who can rest then!)

3) Find a good nap spot - I like napping in my bed, but many people prefer a sofa or guest bed or their desk chair.  It's helpful to have one spot you always nap in.  

4) Get a blanket - even when it's hot - just in case. Your body can rest better if it's a little warm.

5) Get the right audio- I like quiet, but my husband likes sound.  Noise canceling headphones with spa music could be good.

6) I think it’s a good idea to nap in a different sleep position than you normally sleep, so I make myself lay down on my back.  It’s comfortable, but a less deep sleep for me.

7) Don’t get too comfy - stay in regular clothes, don’t have it too dark in the room, etc. 

8) Have a thinking strategy to turn your brain off. This is vital for me. I count backwards slowly starting at 40. Sometimes I don’t make it past 30, but if I get all the way to zero then I just start over from 50 or something.

To me the hardest part of a nap is to concentrate on relaxing and to NOT think about what else I should be doing or what I need to remember to do when I get up and oh yeah I have to email that girl and oh crap I have to get those clothes out of the washer before they get stinky and I wonder if I bought feta cheese when I went to the store and oh man this lame nap is over and I didn't even rest.  I HAVE to turn my brain off. 

Here are a few ideas from the internet that I don’t love, but found interesting enough to share.

 - Drink a few sips of a caffeinated drink before you power nap. It will take a smidge to kick in and help you wake up and feel alert when the power nap is over.

 - Hold on to your car keys while you nap. When you go deeper asleep you will drop them and ideally wake yourself up. OR, my Dad's "good idea,"  to hold a cup of water on your chest when you lie down and... I think you see where his plan is going.  

In a perfect world, that I do not live in, I would like to exercise AND power nap every day without exception.  A short nap, on the days it is possible, help me feel human though.  I can make it to 9:30  at night this way instead of eyeing the clock at 7:30.  

I think Tired Girls can relate - when we get too tired (or too hungry actually) - we are all Robin Williams in this Snickers Commercial - we get a little loopy.  My thoughts make about as much sense has his idea for balloon animals. A power nap could help this guy.  And a Snickers always sounds good as well. 


 Any good tips for successful power napping?

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/06/how-to-power-nap.html
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Sometimes 10 minutes is all you need.  
I often give myself 10 minutes to do something.  10 minutes on the microwave timer to clean up the kitchen and family room for the afternoon, so I can enjoy a clutter-free evening. 

I can get a lot done in those 10 minutes.

10 minutes to clean the whole downstairs.
10 minutes to neaten up my bedroom, bathroom and closet
10 minutes of ebaying (this can easily turn in two hours if I am not careful)
10 minutes to lay down and close my eyes
10 minutes to spruce myself up in some way
10 minutes to make myself move around the house, walk up and down the stairs, get on the treadmill, use my hand weights, or do an ab workout
A 10 minute dog walk

Obviously most the time you need more than 10 minutes to do any of these things well, but on those days when you have gone in every direction, or you are pooped from just being alive a 10 minute kitchen clean up is more than sufficient.  

Most of the time I use my microwave timer, but in other spots I have a little handheld timer leftover from my days in the classroom.  

If the timer goes off and I don't feel done then a couple more minutes pulls me home.  I trick my brain to believe that if I need more time I can have it - but I rarely need much more.  Most of the time whatever doesn't get done in that time is fine with me.

If you google "10 minute workout" you will get more than enough work out information to ignore.   

I have also been giving myself 10 minute face lifts.  Don't get too excited - it's good, but it's still hyperbole.

I have tried a new product from my favorite skincare line (that is sold in Lakeland, Florida - though I buy it online as well) - Rafa Natural

It is a "Glycolic and Rose Masque", it's $15, and it works.  

I like to use this if I am about to go somewhere - so my new uplifted face gets use.  So before an evening out, or if you have time in the morning (I have never heard of this personally), or if you have time on a Saturday.  It is good for your skin though - that's the point - so use it whenever.  

I use the Rafa Natural Clarifying Cleanser with my Clarisonic for a quick cleanse - but you can use any mild face wash - and then I squeeze two or three pumps of this glycolic mask in to my hand to spread on my face. 

It soaks in to my skin and then I clean my bathroom or put my clothes away for 10 minutes.  Then you rinse it off with water and apply moisturizer.  The directions say to only leave  on for 5 minutes the first time you use it, but then I leave it on longer after that.

My skin looks extra smooth and subtley uplifted - it looks tight in a good way.  I look rested.  I look thrilled!  I look wealthy!! Well I look rested anyway.  The rose of the mask is also a  pretty smell. 

The only two glycolic products sold at Neiman Marcus are $90 and $300.  Nordstrom's has a alot of "glycolic" products of ranging prices, percents and uses.  This mask has 10% glycolic acid which is the amount you want as well, AND it's all natural. Sold! 

My mom, who is in her sixties, uses this as well and gets the same results. Her skin is very dry to my oily and we are both pleased with our glycolic mask.

Here are some women who probably had more than a 10 minute glycolic acid facelift while they clean up their bathroom or something.  Whatever they have done is working for them though - they are aging well and beautifully.  

I chose these photos, because they were snapshots from events, and "appeared" to be not too edited.

Sometimes 10 minutes is all I need.  Maybe I will become an accomplished woman in just 10 minute increments of my life. 

Here is info on glycolic acid if you are procrastinating doing something important and would rather read this:

"Glycolic Acid is an exfoliator. It safely removes the outer layer of dead skin cells on the surface your skin, bring fresh new skin to the surface. This is beneficial for those who are looking for ingredients that help with anti-aging. Glycolic acid can also help lighten discoloration of the skin, such as sun spots or age spots and help those with acne-prone and blackhead-prone skin."  http://skincare.about.com/od/skin101/qt/Glycolic-Acid-Skin-Benefits.htm

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/06/ten-minute-rule.html

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One summer in college someone set me up with a guy. 
The idea that a twenty-year-old would even need to be set up is pretty funny, looking at it from the age of 35.  Twenty somethings don't need help in this department, the world is their oyster.  Anyway, I talked to him on the phone before we went out and he said something that really stuck with me and also totally annoyed me.  He said " Europe is really fantastic.  You should go."
I mean, ok!

Oh gee really?  Thanks.  It was like saying. "Diamonds are pretty you should have some." Or "Ferrari's are neat you should drive one."

Of course Europe is great and of course I was planning to go. His statement, from my view, showed a total  lack of awareness.  He didn't know me and what I had planned, or if I could afford to go, or had the time, or whatever.  Maybe I had big things going and couldn't get away.  He didn't know my life! And his "recommendation" of a whole continent, for whatever reason, did not sit well. My mother tried to convince me to chill the heck out and give the guy a break.  Needless to say I am not married to that guy nor did we even ever actually go out.  

The tip I am sharing today feels a little like "Europe is really fantastic. You should go."  I understand that sometimes Tired Girls do not have money falling out of their wallets and that they work their tails off just to maintain their lifestyle and maybe squirrel a couple of bucks away for a secret shoe purchase in the process.  I get it. 

I have a list of services though that I pay for that make my life easier.  My husband and I happily skimp in other departments to make up for these things.  

I once knew a guy that bought EVERY dvd that had been released. He went to Target on Wednesdays or whatever day it was and bought all the "new" dvds that had come out that week.  He built dvd cases in his house and he and his wife counted and catalogued them often and rarely watched any of them according to her.  Not my bag, but his business of what he wants to do with his money.  

Here are some services I happily spend my money on:

A bug man (or bug person) -  even dead roaches are not cool with me.  I need the whole block cleared of them and a professional amount of poison around me.

A cleaning lady (or cleaning person) - I mean, this is self explanatory.  We have one, she comes once a month (we have decreased from twice a month to save some dough).  She does the big stuff like dusting, floors, the bathrooms, etc.  I still do these things in between, but once a month I know they are going to get done "Lavonia style."  Which - is awesome. 

You can't feel the heat and the distance in this photo.
Yard maintenance - My husband and I patted ourselves on the back when we bought the corner lot with an extra big yard. And then my husband almost died the first summer here when he had to trim two miles long of two mile high hedge.  It was touch-and-go for him that afternoon.  We immediately outsourced that one huge yard task and never looked back. We eventually added mowing and edging to the plan.  We still spend one day every weekend in the summer in our yard and I reluctantly do my part during the week.  Weeding, trimming, more weeding - oh God! But we do not spend two 10 hour days like we could have, and our yard always looks mowed if nothing else. I would give up other stuff to keep this.

Eyebrow waxing - I tried it myself and it went okay, but it goes a heck of a lot better when a professional steps in. Plucking isn't enough for my brows, so I go about every 6 weeks and pluck in between.  If I ever made it big I would have my eyebrows neatened up every day like J.Lo. 

Haircut and coloring- again this is a job for a professional in my opinion. A good hairdo is worth a lot. 

The dentist - sounds dumb, but when I didn't have dental insurance I decided to pocket my $60 twice a year and floss well instead.  It's not the same and I don't want teeth that look like corn, so I think it's worth it.

Exercise - I do not pay for a gym or personal trainer, but I LOVE the treadmill we bought.  Money spent on health seems like a good idea.

Dream services:
a cook
a pool man, because it would mean I have a pool
a personal assistant (I'm not that important; I'm just that tired.)

I heart Jackie Kennedy for many reasons. She read - on average throughout her life - a book a day.  She also - on average throughout her life - had house help and did not cook or clean, etc.  
Think of what could be accomplished by alleviating just a few tasks! 

 I have a happier marriage when there are no fights to be had over aspects of yard maintenance (the grass growing can sometimes be blamed on me as it turns out), and the freedom I gain from the yard man is spent on admiring my dog for example. 

Jackie reading - probably while flying on a private jet to Paris, but whatever.

Tired Girl (me!) with one of my favorite past times:  Ralphie!  Notice I am not  weeding in this photo. I was going to change this photo to black and white  to match Jackie, but I just looked drab whereas she looks historic.

What services save your day, or life, or marriage?

Original post -http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/06/services-for-tired-girls-and-boys.html
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The Pleasure of My Company is a novel written by the incredible Steve Martin, and I actually did read it years ago, but mostly I love the title.
Recently when I was working in the yard (gag) I quickly(I mean instantly) was off in my own world thinking about something a thousand times more intriguing than the heat and the weeds I was pulling.

 I was so happy in my thoughts and so a million miles away – probably contemplating my dog bed sewing project or the idea that Princess Kate never has to pull weeds or what if we lived in a high rise condo in New York City – that when I eventually refocused on the present, the weeds in one small area were gone and I could celebrate by sitting there in the bark and thinking some more with out reaching for a weed.

I am content in my own thoughts – I could be an island of entertainment for myself which I often, gladly, am.  

I am usually too much of a Tired Girl to choose to interact with other people at the end of the day.  Drinks with the girls?  A phone call with a long distance friend?  A stimulating philosophical debate with my husband? Probably not.  A good long day dream about our possible life in a high-rise in New York City, a few youtube tutorials on hair dos, a chapter written in my head for the book I am not really writing, looking at fabric on fabric.com, writing a blog post in my head, contemplating my next career move, picking out a new recipe, reading about something I want to learn how to do, giving myself a pep talk, giving myself some tough love, writing a list of ways to save money so we can have a second home in New York City, staring at my eyebrows in the mirror are all ways that I willingly entertain myself. I could go on forever of things to think about and talk about and contemplate with MYSELF.

When you enjoy your own company and are entertained, supported, challenged and inspired by yourself you don’t have to look elsewhere for these things and therefor can bank some of the energy used for that.

Husband has to work late?  No worries I have a list of projects waiting to be thought about (not actually accomplished).  Sick in bed? I have a list of movies I’ve been wanting to see.  Stuck in a waiting room somewhere?  I can finally make a list of things to research on amazon.com when I’m at the computer next. I’m good. 
I hope you are surrounded by people in your life that inspire, support and entertain you as well – what a bonus!!  But when all that can come from within we can be tired and perfectly happy with the resource always accessible to us – our self! 

This is a quote from one of my all time favorites movies, Best In Show.  This woman is describing her marriage, but she could be describing how I feel about myself. I could talk or not talk with myself for hours and still find things to not talk about. 

I don't get bored.  I don't get lonely - I always got me.  Sounds like the name of a children's book.  Maybe I'll write it. Maybe I'll go read about tips for writing children's books. Maybe I'll skip the research and writing. 

Here is a whole closet to 1) clean out 2) organize and 3) start or finish some of the projects that reside here.  Plenty to think about and do. 
Original post -http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/05/entertain-yourself.html

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Do you have more money or more time?

This is a question I ask myself almost daily.

Sometimes I have more money than time, which means I shop on the internet for a friend and have the gift mailed off to her (etsy.com and amazon prime are my faves). Probably spending a little more money, but getting it done. Also when I have more money, I would get a dress dry-cleaned so it looks perfect for an event, I buy an item at CVS because it's on my way somewhere instead of heading to Target or Wal-Mart.

Sometimes I have more time which is usually when I make a gift for a friend,shop around for an item I am looking for, or take my shopping list to Wal-Mart instead of Publix. I would hand wash, air dry, and iron my event dress (instead of dry-cleaning). These are little things that add up in my head.

It’s the whole “do the benefits outweigh the costs” idea - I base my life on that question.
Obviously having more time or more money is a perception – not necessarily reality. BUT if I feel pooped after a bunch of activities or I’m saving up energy for something else fun to do then I perceive that I have more money than time. If my husband and I just got back from a vacation where we treated ourselves to dinners with dessert, etc , than I perceive that I have less money and therefore more time to make dinner at home for a while.
This is not rocket science, but in my opinion is a very brilliant way to run your life.

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My friend Pat sent me this. To quote him:

"It’s nine minutes, but worth it."

I've thought about this video all week. This video explains why we are tired (mentally and physically) and what we choose to do with our feelings.  

Here is wikipedia about David Foster Wallace - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Foster_Wallace

And lastly, I I don't want to take this video too literally, but Wal-Mart works for me, because of how I CHOOSE to see the people around me. I am able to channel a peacefulness, get my discounted items and get out. Unless, for any infinite number of reasons, I am grumpy, and then I choose to glare at everybody and be annoyed.  

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There are lots of ways that Tired Girls can “be good at the internet.” 

Here is a list of this Tired Girl’s  favorite sites that let my fingers do the walking to help me out, or are simply interesting to me – sometimes just inspiration can be as good as a nap. 

 1) www.amazon.com and most importantly having AmazonPrime.
Amazon.com started with books and now carries everything.  Amazon prime is $75 a year and gives you free two-day shipping (and no tax) on almost all of their items – this pays for itself quickly if you order often, which I do – it also gives you the freedom to order something little that you need and not pay shipping – it stinks to $4.95 shipping on a $2.50 item (I recently needed a part for something and it was this dinky little thing that cost $0.99 – it arrived in 2 days and I literally paid $0.99).

I know of other Tired Girls that use amazon.com with prime for almost everything – shampoo, baby wipes, diapers, etc. – arrives at your door in 2 days.  Heaven for Tired Girls.

Another aspect about amazon that I love and use all the time is the reviews – people are really dedicated to the reviews they write on amazon. I learn about almost everything I buy before I buy on amazon (cameras, books, vitamins, dog food, curling irons), you name it and its been reviewed on amazon.

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I like to say (mostly to myself) that I have my second degree from YouTube University – I have laid in bed with my ipad and learned to do things like: sew a quilt, swaddle a baby, do an up-do on my own hair, make bread in my stand mixer, use the “burst” feature on my camera, build a recycle cart, build a treadmill desk, create loose spiral curls in my hair, cover a lampshade with fabric – and that was only last weekend (not really!). 
I could go on – So. Many. Things. To. Learn. On. Youtube!
My dad ties his bow ties with a youtube video.  Just awesome.

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 3)  www.etsy.com – fun for inspiration – things to make, things to think about, things to buy – its an art fair on my lap.  
gift purchases on etsy
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 4) Your county/city public library website – after I have read about books on amazon, then I search my county library site for the books. I request the books to be delivered to my local library, they leave me a message when they have arrived, I swing in, swipe my card and they hand me a stack of books.  My county system also has LOTS of ebooks to “check out” as well – so I can get a book to my ipad for 2 weeks.  Here is a site to search for your local public library system - http://www.publiclibraries.com/

Now I just need the service where they swing by and pick up the books to return them for me – that’s the hardest part for me.  Bleh.

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5) www.ebay.com  - Luxury, used items for less money delivered to my door? I'll have that.  

two fantastic deals I got on ebay -  Tory Burch and J. Crew!

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6) www.yahoo.com – (MY yahoo page)
I have set up the newspapers, headlines, subjects I want to see headlines for. I also have the weather of four places of my choice (one city happens to be Paris because – you know – just in case I need to go there today), most popular photos of the day, my junk email box and more. 
I love this because, in bed at night or when I have downtime, I click on my page and all the headlines – local, national and international pop up.  My husband will say something like – “Did you hear…?”  And I get to feel brilliant because I say – “Oh yeah, I read about that earlier this week and oh yeah I’m awesome.”  Pop culture, politics, sports, news – I am connected on one page.

My dad has an app called “pulse” on his ipad – it’s a more high tech version of my yahoo page. Being a Tired Girl I feel unadventurous at learning new tech things sometimes – but someday I’ll get in on this.  Here is a description of it –
“Pulse News brings all your favorite blogs, magazines, social networks and newspapers in one place for FREE. Exciting to use, quick to read, ready to share. Tap on an article to see a clean and elegant view of the news story. Save stories for reading later across all platforms or sync them with Instapaper, Read it Later and Evernote. Sharing a story via Facebook, Twitter, Google + and email is as easy as one tap.
Download this award-winning news application, that has been downloaded by over 20 million users.”

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 7) www.facebook – Yes sometimes it’s depressing to see pics of someone that just finished a marathon while I lay in my pj’s and just admire their sweat, but all in all I love facebook.  It’s an easy way to keep up with people I like. A simple “like” and I feel connected. Am I really connected? No, but I understand the difference which proves I don’t have a problem.

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8)  www.thetiredgirl.com - my own blog is a fun hobby for me.  Hooray for hobbies!

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9)  google images -- https://www.google.com/imghp?hl=en&tab=wi  -- just fun - I can look at images of lots of good things. I will often google image search something I am looking at on ebay - just to see if it looks good and how people are using/wearing it. There is definitely porn though and strangely my most innocent searches seem to be the the biggest porn draw.  

AND I'm back -  to being obsessed with Ryan Gosling Hey Girl - 
love the crafting versions - thank you google images.

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Pinterest and twitter currently make me more tired. So I can't add them to this list yet.  

Do you have a site that really helps you out?  I would love to know what it is – so spill it. 

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I hate the P90x commercials. 
Lots of people could be in great shape if they simply exercised for over an hour every day for 90 days – we don’t need your videos about“muscle confusion” to do that. I would like to purchase a program that shopped for food, made meals and cleaned up after so I had the energy to work out for an hour every day. Screw you P90x.

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2012/11/i-hate-p90xcommercials.html

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Know yourself. Hello me nice to meet me. I am a morning person – so I front load my day because I know I am going to be tired early and won’t feel like doing anything of importance passed like 8pm. I also know that I do not care about getting my nails done. I can’t do anything with those nails, and the whole time they are getting done I am thinking about the money I could be spending on a cute shirt from J.Crew. I do not feel relaxed, so I don’t do it. I would rather spend that money and time elsewhere.

I understand that some women crave the pampering type feeling that comes with a pedicure or having their nails look nice. So that’s a non-negotiable to them. The point is – figure out your non-negotiables. Maybe you are a booze hound on the weekends, so save up your money, energy, and calories for table dancing on the weekends with the girls.

I have friend who loves the “Housewives of wherever”series. It was her guilty pleasure. Once she had her baby girl she had a hard time fitting that in in the evenings. She figured out to her drink her coffee while watching instead of her wine. She watches it at like 5 am when her baby is up anyway. Know what you need, work it in, make it work, be happy.

Original post -

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Get help. I’m not generally one to ask for help from friends. I either make it work on my own or I don’t do it. But occasionally I reach out for help from friends – especially in an area where they are especially proficient – and I am amazed how these friends not only don’t seem to mind, but the result is so phenomenal that it was worth the ask.

My dear friend Jamie taught me how to make this blog look cute. She is a whiz at this stuff because not only does she have great taste but her degree is in Graphic Design! I asked her if she would make this blog look cute and she got me started and helped me not be afraid to mess around with html or whatever (because if I totally messed it up, she would fix it for me).

Tired Girls need friends.

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2012/11/get-help.html

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As a Tired Girl, my life is easier, because of the support system I have.  A family that loves and accepts me. They know sometimes my Tired Girlness is totally inconvenient, and they also work to help me out.

My parents and my husband are both brilliant at this - they love love love me and they also hold me accountable. They love love love me and they both tell me it's not cool when I pay the bills late, because I forgot (translation: in the weeds of life, which also translates to: too tired after doing other things to remember other other important things). 

A serious Tired Girl tip is that I highly recommend surrounding yourself with appropriately supportive, loving, non-toxic people.

My husband catered to my Tired Girlness in two big ways this weekend and it reminded me of a post I wrote a long time ago. 

I don't really get in to the zombie thing, but this is still a good idea.  

Me and my possible zombie killing partner.

Originally posted Tuesday November 27, 2012-

Choose the right mate. 
Ha – there I just solved all of your major problems – just marry or stick with the best person for you. Done! Seriously though, choosing a good partner will make you less tired.If you have already chosen a partner though then you’ll have to work with what you got. So good luck.

Partners fall into four categoires for me –


I choose the non-grumpy versions either way - I am not interested in bad boys. My husband borders on grumpy, but only situationally (he can get what is called hangry – hungry/angry – watch out – put some cheezits in his mouth, then he’ll be okay).  He is also a sometimes quite a serious person, but he actually fits into the tired-nice category.

Like me, he would prefer to watch a movie than play golf. I like this about him. We watch the movie together or watch golf together (I can't think of a time we have actually watched golf) or get in bed early together. He does not make me run marathons and we complain together about our messy house and then work together to make it semi-clean. We are tired together.

Having an awake nice husband could be handy, because I assume they would just do everything, but sometimes it makes me tired to even watch other people be active.Annoying to just witness their energy.

Tired grumpy and awake grumpy would need to be worked with in some way. Maybe someone can write a blog about that. If you are connected to an awake or tired grumpy partner, let us know your tips for being with them.

If you don’t have a partner yet then figure out which of these you would prefer and plan to fall in love with them. 

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/09/a-good-spouse.html
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Do Hillary Clinton and Condoleeza Rice clean out their garage?
Sometimes I get so caught up with making my world run smoothly that I don’t take a step away and think about the BIG things I want.

I want to have an organized garage so I don’t feel annoyed when I pull in and see stuff sitting around. But those tasks and thoughts so easily can fill up my brain and my day. Do I really want to spend my life organizing my garage, analyzing the shape of my eyebrows and thinking about fun art projects for myself? Not really.

All of those things are important, but I want my life to run like a top so that I have the energy to do something big or important. I want more Tired Girl tips so that I don’t get bogged down in the necessary, but mundane. Please send me your tips so that I can one day be Secretary of State maybe. 

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2012/12/do-hillary-clinton-and-condoleeza-rice.html

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Set limits. It is okay to say no. You can’t say no to funerals or to the health of your family, or unfortunately to lots of things, but you can say no sometimes.

Some friends from work asked me to join their bunco group and even though I really liked all of them I also knew that by the time I get home in the evenings I do not like to go back out – that’s just me. So even though I was crazy about them and even though it was only once a month I knew I would only disappoint them if I said yes and then never went. That’s a shitty thing to do.
So I told them I just don’t commit to things during the week. Maybe they thought I stunk, but it was best for everyone and I was still their friends and super friendly and always asked how it was and who made what kinds of snacks and what was the gossip, I just didn’t go. I have a list of 20 things like this that I say no to.

I have a friend who sets the limits with her school age children. Anything that needs to be signed, paid for, made, etc. needs to be done the night before, then in the chaos of the morning rush she is not writing a check for the field trip while she is driving. Her oldest daughter forgot this guideline one morning and begged her mom to sign her permission slip to watch a movie at school or something. Mom said no, daughter didn’t watch the movie, daughter never forget again to get things signed the night before.

You might think this lady is a royal jerk for doing this. I like that she set reasonable limits for her kids and herself and stuck to it. Doing things like this for yourself, kids, dogs, friends, partners, spouse can be a great way to save energy. You aren’t forced to make that game time decision or possibly hurt someone’s feelings. You have set some limits and sometimes you say no. (You probably say “no thank you” though because you are a lady and not a jerk). 

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2012/12/set-limits.html

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Do you have more money or more time?

This is a question I ask myself almost daily.

Sometimes I have more money than time, which means I shop on the internet for a friend and have the gift mailed off to her (etsy.com and amazon prime are my faves). Probably spending a little more money, but getting it done. Also when I have more money, I would get a dress dry-cleaned so it looks perfect for an event, I buy an item at CVS because it's on my way somewhere instead of heading to Target or Wal-Mart.

Sometimes I have more time which is usually when I make a gift for a friend,shop around for an item I am looking for, or take my shopping list to Wal-Mart instead of Publix. I would hand wash, air dry, and iron my event dress (instead of dry-cleaning). These are little things that add up in my head.

It’s the whole “do the benefits outweigh the costs” idea - I base my life on that question.

Obviously having more time or more money is a perception – not necessarily reality. BUT if I feel pooped after a bunch of activities or I’m saving up energy for something else fun to do then I perceive that I have more money than time. If my husband and I just got back from a vacation where we treated ourselves to dinners with dessert, etc , than I perceive that I have less money and therefore more time to make dinner at home for a while.
This is not rocket science, but in my opinion is a very brilliant way to run your life. 

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2012/12/doyou-have-more-money-or-more-time-this.html

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Be nice.  People will like you even better.  And when people like you they overlook things, like the fact that you are leaving their party early (because you are tired) or you didn’t call them back for a week (too tired to talk), or you don’t volunteer with them to come in over the summer to organize the science kits and textbooks (seriously?), or your dog always barks at them when they innocently walk by your house,  or you need someone to not hate you (because you were late for your appointment).  Instead they unconsciously know that when you are with them: You. Are. Nice.   Don’t be fake, just be nice. 

It's helpful if you actually like and enjoy the people you are being nice too, and strangely once I take the time to go that extra little bit for someone I  find that I often (but not always) do like them.  But even if you don't -  Smile and say "thank you," and "your welcome," and" have a great Thursday," and "please,"and "those cookies look yummy," and "your car is so clean," and "that dress makes you look skinnyyyyyyy!!" (saying these things in  that crazy Oprah voice where she drags it out and goes up at the end is even better). 

You don’t have to be best friends with everyone – nor do I recommend that – just be nice to people. It’s the whole pay it forward and you get what you give theory and us tired girls will inevitably need to be given something at some point (like patience, help, more patience) so you better give it when you feel good and awake so you that when you are don't and aren't,  people will like you anyway. 

if you ever get the chance you should google image search "ryan gosling hey girl" 

be this nice person by being nice to all

Aaaaand one more word about this. Be nice – not because you plan to need something at some point – but just because it’s nice to be nice (and all that other stuff about how it will come in handy when you botch something up.)  

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/01/be-nice.html

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Sometimes other people make me tired.  Whether it is the drama of a co-worker; the insensitivity of a friend; the lack of self-esteem in others that will manifest in a rudeness towards me.  All of these and more can make me exponentially more tired.  Mostly, because we can’t control other people and their actions; we can only control how we react in those situations.  In the end, no matter our choices, other people make me tired.  Here are a few strategies that sometimes work on some people that sometimes stink:

 - Kill them with kindness and then run away.  Self-explanatory and sometimes pretty hard    to do.  But it’s awfully hard for people to say or do anything against you when you have seriously been nothing but pleasant, even if you are secretly glaring at them.  

 - Eliminating the toxic people you are able to be away from.  Some people you don’t HAVE to interact with, so don’t (especially if they somehow make you feel like crap).  A toxic friend or relative?  No thanks. This one is the easiest for me believe it or not.

 - Don’t show up to the argument or drama that you have been invited to.  Ha – love this! Your officemate had another fight with her boyfriend?  – OMG you don’t care.  Your body language and comments that change the subject and don’t ask for every detail will slowly train her (hopefully) that you –OMG - seriously you are there to do a job!!  Do you feel a teeny bit mean?  Probably, but in the long run it is worth it.

 - Survival of the fittest and nicest.  Some people make me feel guilty when it takes me awhile to call them back, and when that happens it takes even longer the next time.  Who wants to spend their precious energy being made to feel guilty when the phone works both ways? Not me.  The friends I have fit in to the survival of the fittest and the nicest category.  These are the people that don’t get their feelings hurt when I don’t attend the bachelorette party or take a little too long to email them back.  These are true friends. They truly love me and because of it they will take me with my flaws (tiredness) and all.  

We all know the difference in our friends, relatives and coworkers, etc.  We know the ones that our good for us and the ones that aren’t.  I use the alcoholic anonymous saying here and added in the word people.  - "Allow me to accept the things (people) I cannot change, the courage to change the things (people) I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”  

Sorry for all the ecard thingys - I still like them. 

Original post - http://www.thetiredgirl.com/2013/01/sometimes-other-people-make-me-tired.html

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My husband and I once overheard an awesome conversation that went like this:

Husband: while you were out I moved the coffee table and vacuumed the whole living room.

Wife: well you don’t get a medal because I do that kind of thing every day.

Awesome.  My husband and I love this, so we often, laughingly, say to each other – “well you don’t get a medal!!”  And even though we don’t (get a medal) we still routinely announce our accomplishments to each other.  
I took out the trash!
I cleaned Ralphie’s ears!
I erased the old voicemails! 
I vacuumed!  
The words – “you don’t get a medal” are our own weird private joke prize to reward each other.  We love it!!

The other night though my husband sweetly said to me:.  “I know I don’t get a medal, but I unloaded the dishwasher.”  (P.S. Unloading the dishwasher is the MOST DREADED task in our house – We. Hate. It.)  And I said to him – knowing how pooped he was from the day and how much we both avoid that chore. “Are you kidding!! You do get a medal – that is awesome!”   Because it was, and so I guess sometimes we DO get a medal.

As stupid as this may sound I understand that as adults we don’t get a reward for doing things we should do, but we should reward ourselves sometimes anyway.

Watch puppy videos on youtube, walk the aisles of Target, peruse ebay for a used Maserati, waste time, plan a sewing project you will get to in two years. Give yourself a stinking medal sometimes because being an adult is exhausting. 

I have shared some of the "medals" I give myself:

How do you reward yourself?  Tell me so I will get more good ideas.

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There are SOME people out there that aren’t tired!!  I have a friend that has sent me her Tired Girl tips.  I knew we had a problem when her “most tired” recipes resembled things I would make only in my dreams (literally) – they had way more than 10 steps – and some of the steps were “stir constantly for 10 minutes.”  No.

I also came across this woman’s blog. It is awesome, and I like watching her do her hair (youtube videos) and her makeup.   http://www.thesmallthingsblog.com   She is no Tired Girl though and she doesn’t claim to be so no judgement here – just jealousy mostly.  Her makeup regimen clearly works as she looks beautiful and like she isn’t even wearing much makeup – this is my goal always. Like accidentally beautiful. 

And yet another friend who goes to the gym – whaaaaat?

And someone else I know that gets her sewing projects DONE and doesn’t just look at the supplies for a few weeks, thinking about how to add a zipper to a dog bed cover.

These people clearly have it all (or mostly) figured out. Multi step dinners, multi-step hair dos and face dos, the gym????? 

I will not find fault with any of this, or poke holes in this existence.  I simply wanted to take the time to admire majestic beings in my presence and also to remind all of you that though I am quick to share ideas about foil (I just can’t quit you), and baskets and, dry shampoo it is only for survival purposes that I have these things to share.

For every tip that helps me maneuver through my life happily I could use about 100 more.  The laundry?? My arch nemesis! My yard??  Weedy!  My zipper-foot sewing project?? Will probably take 6 months to complete. I am okay with all of this (I guess), because I know I won’t ever have it all figured out.  When I finish my charming dog bed cover –with a zipper closure – in 6 months – I will share a photo of it. 

In the meantime here are some words that sort of comfort me. I bet Liz was no Tired Girl. 

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I have a junk mail email address. It’s the address I don’t check often, but the one I give to Anne Taylor Loft and Panera, and to get on a mailing list for some quaint store I am in on vacation, or  if I want to enter a contest and win a yacht.

About twice a month I log in – see if I won anything or got something free from Kate Spade or Tory Burch or CVS, read the email newsletter from a holistic vet, see if I want to fly anywhere on Southwest Airlines for $89, find if if HGTV wants me on any of their shows, delete the emails and I am done.

My regular email is not clogged up with junk, and I am not getting excited when I hear the ding on my phone and find out that Total Wine emailed me. 

I don’t mind giving this junk email out though, because sometimes I do get good coupons, holistic vet tips, and there was the time I won a yacht (not really but here’s to hoping).  

This one is just gaudy - puhlease.

This one seems okay I guess.

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A friend of mine posted this on her Facebook page last week.  I'm pretty sure the guy in this pic is talking about his abs, which is cool for him.
this dude's version of pushing harder MAY be different than my version

Unlike many things on Facebook that we scroll over, this really stuck with me, but not in relation to my abs (poor abs - so neglected*). 

Every day, because of this quote, I pushed just a little bit harder at different parts of my day to have a better tomorrow - even if it was something like read a few more pages in my book at night before falling asleep (I have a huge stack of books I want to read and it's hard to get through them when I fall asleep after one page OR accidentally shop for shoes on my ipad instead of reading any of them). 

 I won't bore you, with the laundry list of things I worked harder at - you would really understand what a Tired Girl I am if I told you, and possibly think my existence was small, or that I am a weensy bit koo-koobeans or something. So just assume I pushed harder at mastering existentialism or something kick-ass like that. 

I just thought I'd share this, in case this gym poster changed your whole life, like it may have changed mine. 

*Ab workout is on the to-do list that I lost.

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Tired Girls benefit from having a doctor that they have an established relationship with.  Not a walk-in clinic where the staff does not know you, but a doctor with a practice.  

I recommend this because there will inevitably be times that you are WAY sick, and in my experience the doctors that know you can do many helpful things:

1) Call in a prescription for you (hooray!!)
2) Work you in to see the doctor that day (or that minute - no waiting)
3) Know what medications did not work for you in the past or what other situations you have
4) Possibly care about your well-being in the long-term

I assume some of you never get sick -  so whatever (I’m glaring at you right now), but for those that do, or have kids that do, it saves me lots of energy and pain to have an established doctor that I like and trust.

Oh crud – tough talk coming at you now:  Don’t wait until you are sick to find someone though.  

Get recommendations from friends and go in for a wellness check-up to establish yourself as a patient.  I know that sounds like a miserable way to spend an afternoon and a $20 co-pay, so obviously you don’t have to.  But by laying the ground work early, when you get the swine flu, regular flu, pink eye and a bladder infection all at once and while on vacation in San Francisco (raise your hand if you have had it all come at you at the same time before) you will have an immediate resource (a valuable Tired Girl tool). 

Sooooo, if you weren’t tired before, you are now, because that was pretty dull. 

Make sure the doctor you choose isn't a Muppet.

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Don’t be too perfect – nobody likes that person. This one is easy for me. 

I think it’s nice not to be too prefect (easy for me).  You can show up at a party and look great, make people feel special, be sweet, bring yummy food, dress cute and laugh at other people’s stories, but just be a little late (easy for me), or be on time, but bring store bought cookies (easy for me) or bring yummy cookies, be on time, but maybe your eyebrows are wild and need professional help (easy for me).  

I don’t have to consciously do any of these things – they all happen naturally for me. 

Give people something to show that you are not perfect (easy for me) and therefore human and therefore more likable and charming and you don’t have it all figured out (easy for me). 

The point I am making very indirectly is: don’t be too hard on yourself because no one expects or likes perfection anyway.  Nobody likes that perfect person. 

On a side note - Whatever you do don't ever google image search the words "perfect girl" for ideas for a visual for your blog - you will be very disappointed at the amount of porn that appears.  So I made this image instead- an imperfect photo of me wearing a bib. 

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Sometimes I totally short circuit.  Just flat-line. I may have written about this subject before, but as I am in a flat-line type mood I don't remember and can't fathom the idea of doing the research.

At times like this I could have a list of many things to do of varying importance and find myself completely ignoring ALL (all!!) of them and instead perusing ebay for the perfect navy and white striped cardigan for a while (or 6 hours maybe).  Sometimes I look at my list (on paper or in my head), blow it all off and just get in bed instead.  This is when I am more than a Tired Girl. I am a Done Girl. 

I have a friend with many children,  several important roles and a very demanding career. I would come into her office and she would be playing internet pinball. Pinball!!  But now I get it. Sometimes we are just done. 

I have less guilt about this if I fess up to it. My husband will ask how my day was and I will blurt out "I short circuited and wasted most of the day."  It feels better to admit it sometimes.

I barely proofread these words today - so please go easy on me. 

Here is the Tired Girl (me!) just chucking it all.

This is how I envision myself when I do this.  

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Some of you Tired Girls are not girls - you are boys. 
You are Tired Boys. You work your tails off at work and at home as well.  You may or may not make dinner every night, but you have your fair share of responsibilities -- AND you have to confront your FACE with a RAZOR each morning.  Yowser. 

Here is a short article that explains why more men are pooped these days (like women are): 


 I just wanted to acknowledge the Tired Boys out there that are working hard for their Tired Girls.

This guy may be a Tired Boy in this photo. 

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I cannot make more than one big life change at a time
I cannot:
lose weight
get a new job
get good at a new job
go gluten free
get pregnant
sell my house
do a liver cleanse
save lots of money
plan a wedding
heal a very sick dog
do an art show
be great at any job
not get sick
help my dog lose weight
fix my sinus problems
get in good shape
maintain a constantly perfect-ish house and weed-free yard 
all at once*. 

 I can do like two of these things at a time - depending on the actual combination. Luckily no one has asked me to do all of them at the same time though.  

I am constantly striving for an even better life in one way or another, but as a Tired Girl I need to pick my life changes or at least partner them up in a a reasonable way. More than one or two at a time and I am out.

This quote makes me feel like working hard at the big things in life - and  it's even more fun when it's around Dwight's all-business face.  

* I am not currently looking to do many of these things right now - I am already married for example, so I am not planning a wedding , but all of these things have been done at some point in my life - and all of them were a lot of work. 

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