Saturday, December 1, 2012

Say no to stuff.

Set limits. It is okay to say no.  You can’t say no to funerals or to the health of your family, or unfortunately to lots of things, but you can say no sometimes.

Some friends from work asked me to join their bunco group and even though I really liked all of them I also knew that by the time I get home in the evenings I do not like to go back out – that’s just me.  So even though I was crazy about them and even though it was only once a month I knew I would only disappoint them if I said yes and then never went.  That’s a shitty thing to do. 
So I told them I just don’t commit to things during the week.  Maybe they thought I stunk, but it was best for everyone and I was still their friends and super friendly and always asked how it was and who made what kinds of snacks and what was the gossip, I just didn’t go. I have a list of 20 things like this that I say no to.

I have a friend who sets the limits with her school age children.  Anything that needs to be signed, paid for, made, etc. needs to be done the night before, then in the chaos of the morning rush she is not writing a check for the field trip while she is driving.  Her oldest daughter forgot this guideline one morning and begged her mom to sign her permission slip to watch a movie at school or something.  Mom said no, daughter didn’t watch the movie, daughter never forget again to get things signed the night before.

You might think this lady is a royal jerk for doing this. I like that she set reasonable limits for her kids and herself and stuck to it.  Doing things like this for yourself, kids, dogs, friends, partners, spouse can be a great way to save energy.  You aren’t forced to make that game time decision or possibly hurt someone’s feelings. You have set some limits and sometimes you say no.  (You probably say “no thank you”  though because you are a lady and not a jerk).   

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