Sunday, December 27, 2015

Have a hobby -

We don't all get paid to follow our passion.  Sometimes we just have a job where someone pays us, and we like the parts of our lives when we are not doing that job, better than when we are. 

Not me of course - Hi boss - I love my job. 

When this happens (to the majority of us - as not all of us get to spend the day naming nail polish or testing gin) we need to have this thing called a hobby. Or hobbies, if you are like me and are "hobby rich" ( I guy at a tailgate described himself to me that way and I stole it).

Here is the thing about a hobby when you are a Tired Girl.  You don't need to be GOOD at your hobby.  You can have the shabbiest painting in your watercolor class or spend hours sewing a shirt that will barely be wearable, come in last to every IRONMAN competition, heal every golf ball you hit,  or make the world's most mediocre brownies.  But who the fuck cares?  If you are having fun and enjoying yourself in the process that is the only thing that matters. 

A hobby does not have to be you "practicing,"so someday you can quit your real job and sew cat clothes all day. A hobby can be something you do for fun - that's it. 

There was a time I painted a lot and the more I painted the more ideas I had and the better I was and the more fearless I was and on and on. Was I ever really like GOOD? Nah. But it was crazy fun and relaxing and I loved it, if I hadn't had to eventually get a job I would have kept on like that.

Jackie Kennedy was known to paint as a hobby, but have you ever seen the "Jackie Kennedy Collection" of paintings tour around? No one has I don't think. She is known for saying that she painted a picture for her mother's closet every year for Christmas. I guess she wasn't that good, but it didn't stop her

Write songs for open mic night, paint pictures to hang in closets, dance like Elaine, ruin souffles, enter writing contests, read articles about restoring an old wooden boat when you don't even own one, and "pin" photos of ball gowns you'll never wear.

Why is this is important for Tired Girls?  Because a hobby is a fun place to go, mentally, when our bodies don't always cooperate. Up to your eyeballs in laundry, work obligations, social functions and all you want is to pull on your lounge pants and call it a day? The physical aspect of a hobby doesn't always fit in, but giving your brain something enticing to think about and look forward to when the stars align and you have a minute, is the stuff that keeps us interesting and engaged, and not just the run of the mill, brain-dead-overworked-person. 

Bossy part: Do it. Have a hobby. It makes our lives rich and layered and interesting. Being good at it is the least interesting part. 
This is the opposite of what I mean but I liked it anyway. What it should say is " I am a mediocre blogger and terrible rapper and I still do both, bitches."

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Stages of Weightloss -

I gained weight, blah, blah, blah. And then I created and then self diagnosed myself with these multiple stages of weight loss dieting. Notice I have not gone through the "actually losing weight stage" yet, so I have something to look forward to.

For Tired Girls out there in the throes of any of these stages I am just extending my fist in the air to you. Solidarity. I got you, girl.  I have been there or I am here now - in fact these stages are more of a cycle as they seem to keep coming back around. 
Here they are in the order I am lucky enough to participate:

Considering - 
An oldie, but a goodie.
"I am going to just eat a little less and move a little more, no big deal. Not going to freak out or deprive myself. I'll have this taken care of in no time."

Freaking Out - 
"I am going to walk everywhere and only eat grapefruits and potatoes. I'll hide all my clothes except for workout clothes as I'll be more likely to get on the treadmill if I am already dressed for it. I'll start jogging. I'm getting up at 5 tomorrow morning and jogging on the treadmill and then I'll walk to the grocery store and to Target. And I'll get in like 16,000 steps every day. I'll be in great shape in no time."

No Way - 
"I can't do this. I am starving. I am not meant to subsist on such a restricted diet. I need cheese. It's not worth it; there are too many other miserable things in life to be hungry on top of it. There has to be a better way. Forget it, no way."

Spending money - 

"I am going to hire a personal trainer - no matter the cost. Then I'll go to one of those doctors that give you shots, so you aren't hungry - doesn't matter how much that costs - you can't put a price on your health. Then I'll go and get those Myer's Cocktails, that IV therapy stuff that athlete's do, again no price tag on health; the important thing is to feel good. Then I'll go once a week to acupuncture, and I'll be relaxed and happy and will lose weight. Then I'll buy a Vitamix, and that Shakeology stuff and drink a diet of smoothies and veggie juice - doesn't matter how much all that costs - it's worth it. I'll feel great and be in the best shape of my life in no time."

Medical Problem - 
"There is obviously something wrong with me. There is no way I haven't lost any weight. It's like my body needs the fat, like it can't let go of it. Maybe my thyroid is off. Maybe I have a'syndrome' of some kind. Maybe my body doesn't process food the way it should. I'm going to the doctor and I'll bet I'll find out something is really wrong and I'll get all fixed up and be back to my old self in no time."

The holidays - 
"It's the holidays/vacation I am not going to worry about this crap right now. I'll revisit my clean eating plan later. I don't want to ruin this event by feeling stressed out. I am just going to enjoy life."

Grief veiled as "acceptance"- 
"I guess I'll never wear those yellow jeans or that black bikini again. I guess this is my new body. I am not even going to try anymore."


Quiet sobbing.  "How did it come to this?"

Rebellion - 
"Who the fuck cares that I have gained weight? I don't! I like me for who I am and I don't care that there is just a little more of me now. I am not like unhealthy. No one cares that I sort have a second chin. I went through A LOT with those damn fertility drugs. I'll wear my chubby body as a badge of pride. I tried something in this life, I tried for something I wanted and it didn't work and now I have a new body and I am not ashamed. I am just going to embrace this and buy new clothes. This will be fun; I'll feel better in no time."

White Noise - 
"La la la, denial, denial, denial, derp di derpity derp, pizza, pizza, pizza, apple pie, club sandwich, treadmill not even plugged in, pizza, denial, denial."

This is me talking to myself when I continue to
show up in the "Spending Money" stage.

And then I cycle back to "Considering" and around I go. Since my weight gain has occurred over the past two to three years I have rotated through these a few times. 

I'll let you know when something changes and I manage to start losing weight. 

Did I miss a stage that any of you have gone through? 

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