Monday, July 17, 2017

Marriage advice -

I want to call this "the best" marriage advice.  But, I'll let you qualify it on your own. The words I am going to have to type in this post haunt me.  But the overriding value of them is enough to make me do it.

The context contributes to the power of this advice. My mom and I were having iced tea in the living room at a friend's house. We stopped by for reasons relating to my upcoming wedding (this was obvi years ago).  This friend told me she was going to give me the best unsolicited marriage advice.

And then she said this:

"Feed him and fuck him."

And if I didn't literally spit out iced tea then I emotionally flinched. 




The use of the word fuck in such a context aside, the truth is - it's good advice.  

Yes, I am an adult married woman and I both cook and have sex. And that feels icky to say, but the advice is on point. 

If you want to wax poetic about this advice we can - it boils down to both meeting another person's most basic needs and at the same time caring for them in a both physical and emotional way. Blah blah blah. 

I prefer not to personalize this too much - I am comfortable talking about my non-functioning uterus,  but my sex life feels too far.

If you have to let other things in your life and marriage slide - as we all do - it is understandable. So think hard before either of these two actions become obsolete. 

I want to hand this sentence to Tired Girls everywhere and you can do with it what you will.

Here is a hilarious scene from the movie Annie Hall - they are each asked by therapists if they have sex often - there answer is the same yet different. Ignore the first part about their relationship.



The text version: 
Each therapist asked "Are you having sex very often?"
Him: Hardly ever maybe three times a week.
Her: Constantly, I'd say three times a week.









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