Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Being bad -

I like the idea of being (kind of) bad.  I have just enough anger in me to be healthy and I like to channel that anger. As you may remember I participate in "angry exercise."  Which -- is. awesome.  And thank goodness I have my own private treadmill to be angry on.

I also have a list of other things I like to do to be bad (lady-like Tired Girl versions - get ready for milk and cookies badness).
I wish this was true.

The first thing I like to do is NOT brush each strand of hair before I roll it up on a  hot roller. Yeah, take that world - I  WILL roll my un-brushed hair!  Fist in the air! 

I do that, but that is not what I mean. Here are ways I enjoy being bad:

I like (LOVE) to cuss. I love to cuss about unimportant shit.  See?  I love music with cussing. I like movies with cussing.  It feels like a release. It feels fucking awesome. Being a lady though I try to keep my bad words to the right audience and even then to minimum.

This is a great fucking song, though - don't watch it at work. The chorus is... "Shut the fuck up."  So obviously it's awesome.  A good one to listen to on the way to work or divorce court or whatever sucks. 


I also like to pretend I smoke. Joe hates smoking more than things he probably should hate. Also smoking is disgusting and terrible for like 10 different reasons.  But I like to think to myself during a particularly stressful moment - "If I smoked I would totally have a cigarette right now."  

Being bad at laundry and good at cooking feels like the right breakdown of tasks.  I am too "interesting" to master folding laundry (Joe wishes I was a tad less interesting probably).  But I'm badass enough to whip up something for dinner that happens to be delicious. These things may or may not be accurate, but I like to think of them this way.

Sometimes I like to be secretive. No good/bad secrets, just fun to have projects and ideas going that are just for me. Joe knows if I call him at work and ask where the allen wrenches are, or if we own an electric sander, or what is the process for patenting something, or if he has access to a projector, or if he can think of a name for a particular concept without asking any questions, he just goes with it. 

I like the idea of going way fast in a Porsche. I always say (mostly to just Joe - what a lucky guy) that if things go really right for us financially I would like a Porsche please. Joe knows which one I want. Carrerra Convertible (have to have the wind in my hair) I will need to learn to drive a stick shift, but I have the feeling that is the easier part of this fantasy.

And because I like to be a little secretive I won't share the other ways I like to be (kind of) bad. 

I am pretty sure my idea of being bad is like Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor in "Stir Crazy." One of my all time favorite fucking movies (you didn't forget I like to cuss, right). Gene Wilder plays a playwright and he has to "get bad."

I would really like to know how other Tired Girls like to be bad in their own way. Maybe it will give me new ideas to add to me vanilla flavored badness repertoire.  

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