A Puppy -

When you have a puppy you do not get to do certain things like prepare and post blogs, or shower regularly, or sleep, or wear normal clothes.  Instead you just get to survive, and talk and sing incessantly while performing a normal task like pouring water to keep the puppy entertained so he doesn't start chewing on the shoe you are wearing. Or you look up the weather each night to make sure no rain is in the forecast, because by God you will still be outside playing, you will just be wet.  But also when you have a puppy your house feels full and lived in, and you get to carry laundry with a furry body right in between your ankles and you are sure everyone will break something, and you get breathed on in a different way than normal, and the puppy lays down in front of the shower so he doesn't miss a second with you.

the man

I assume this survival mode mentality - wipe food on your shirt and nobody MOVE when he is finally sleeping kind of attitude is similar to having a baby except there is no puppy maternity leave and no one has brought us casseroles (that is a hint).

On Sunday I will write about Tired Girl things and today I will tell you I am too tired with my new puppy - my life has been hijacked by sweet puppy breath and a wagging tail and the need to always have something in his mouth - always! Always! Do you understand - always.  

and P.S. We are crazy about him.

Juice Bitch II

As I discussed in my original "Juice Bitch" post - I have been making fresh veggie/fruit juice and drinking it and liking it.  You can read about the idea of juicing for normal people in that post. 

Today I am going to discuss three things: juicing for Tired Girls, how the heck to use kale,

kale in motion

and my two favorite recipes.

Juicing for Tired Girls - Frankly I don't want to do much of anything except interact with people/animals I like, shop for stuff on ebay, lay in bed and read, and make sure my life has purpose and meaning. Outside of that list a lot of things feel like a chore - and food prep is a major one.  Here I compared making juice for a meal and making an actual meal:

-You do have to shop for veggies and fruit (but you have to shop for some kind of food).  
-You have to rinse and cut up veggies (but you have to do something with other food).  
-You have to rinse off the juicer and clean up the debris (you have clean food prep and dishes also).  

The good news:
-  I barely cut up the fruit and veggies.  I started juicing by cutting up these darling pieces of carrot and apple and now - whatever - just cram it in. Seeds?  No problem.  As long the item fits in the juicer thingy then we are good. 
- The masticating juicer creates juice that doesn't go bad as quickly - so while I have everything out, I will make a lot of juice - a few servings for each of us at least. So it's one prep and a few meals.  Like juice leftovers!

How the heck you use kale - So kale is going to save us all I guess.  How did we survive so long without eating it every meal?? How does a food get popular? I don't know but in the meantime I am in. Kale it is. 
- I juice my kale and then add it stuff all week. (I haven't mastered or tried kale chips or kale in soup, etc - not yet.)
- On the weekend, usually, I buy two clumps of kale from Publix/Wal-Mart/Farmers market. 
- I break kale in to smaller pieces (but not too small - about the length of your smart phone) and place in my salad spinner. 
- I rinse and spin and juice.  While the juicer drips the last bits into the container I break off more kale, rinse and spin and juice more. 
- I juice both bunches - for me it makes about a cup to a cup and half of kale juice. I put the stems and everything in. 
- The kale juice is dense - like ink.  AND it stains - like ink (goodbye cute J Crew shirt I paid almost full price for).  So a little goes a long way. 

kale juice!

For whatever reason I like getting the kale done all together and in advance - then it's easy to pour in to other juice or a smoothie or whatever.  It does have a flavor but is not dominant - in my opinion - I can barely taste when I add it to smoothies - just turns it green. 

My two favorite recipes - I get comfort in ritual. I like knowing exactly how much to put in and what it will taste like. I don't need variety with my juice. I do need to be able to do it in my sleep.  So this is basically all I ever make.  It was originally a recipe to treat endometriosis, but ultimately it is just an anti-inflammatory mixture. No uterus, no problem - still good for you. 

- 1 apple (no peeling, no de-seeding, just chop up)

just waiting to be juiced

- 1/2 red pepper (cut up to fit in juicer tube)
-  about 3-5 carrots depending on size (I get organic - no peeling necessary)
- kale juice or about 5-8 phone size pieces
- slice of ginger ( I get the big root at the store and just slice off a piece the size of a quarter - no peeling - I really like ginger though). 

Grind it through and serve over ice - I like it cold!  
I will add a starfruit for my husband if I have it on hand (which I rarely do - who buys star fruit?? Joe does that's who - he loves that dang starfruit).

My second recipe is really a smoothie - with kale.

- Glob of plain greek yogurt
- Glob of all natural peanut butter
- Some almond milk
- A banana
 - Kale juice

- I use my handheld mixer and drink for breakfast usually.  You could add egg whites too or wheat germ or flax or other fruits. You literally can not taste the kale at all - it is the weirdest thing - I think banana and peanut butter dominate. But the smoothie is bright green.  

Anyone have a simple juice recipe?  I hate 20 ingredients, but I would still read it.  I do not like cucumber in my juice at all - anyone like cucumber juice? Bleh.  Would anyone wear a shirt that says "This Tired Girl is a Juice Bitch." if I made them?  Me neither. 

TG Mullet -

Today I have a Tired Girl Mullet. It’s not business up front and party in the back.  Instead it is clean and dry up front and pulled back in a messy weird half ponytail in the back.  Sometimes it is not even all that clean up front but more just “neat” in front and pulled back in a messy weird half ponytail in the back.  It counts as a “do” because I gave it a name.  I bring it up though because it buys me more time on a busy day and for that it is an integral part of my life. 

Beware- DO NOT google "easy updo" as you will see lots of very uneasy dos.

DO NOT watch videos on youtube for ideas of ways to put your hair back in a "fast" or "easy" back-do as you will see complicated configurations or girls whose hair looks so perfect to begin with that anything they do will look great.

DO NOT feel bad about yourself.

What does your real human Tired Girl Mullet look like?  Send me pics or a description. I can block your eyes out if you want.  

I choose not to post unrealistic photos (today only) of gorgeous and definitely NOT easy back-dos.  Especially on 20-year-olds with professionally done makeup.  Also I think bad news (like banned content) is more palatable in Tired Girl pink.  And also, yes I am grumpy.

Hey girl, be nice

I originally posted this in January of last year, but was recently reminded the importance of being nice. A friend of our family always says in a sassy voice - "Manners will get you where money won't." - which is a tweak on the Margaret Walker quote.

This skill is imperative for Tired Girls and nice humans.

January 10, 2013

Be nice.  People will like you even better… and when people like you they overlook things.  Like, the fact that you are leaving their party early (because you are tired), or you didn’t call them back for a week (too tired to talk), or you don’t volunteer with them over the summer to organize the science kits and textbooks (seriously?), or your dog always barks at them when they innocently walk by your house, or you need someone to not hate you (because you were late for your appointment).  Instead, they unconsciously know that when you are with them: You. Are. Nice.   Don’t be fake, just be nice. 

It's helpful if you actually like and enjoy the people you are being nice too, and strangely once I take the time to go that extra little bit for someone, I  find that I often (but not always) do like them.  But even if you don't -  smile and say "thank you," and "you’re welcome," and" have a great Thursday," and "please,"and "those cookies look yummy," and "your car is so clean," and "that dress makes you look skinnyyyyyyy!!" (saying these things in  that crazy Oprah voice where she drags it out and goes up at the end is even better). 

You don’t have to be best friends with everyone – nor do I recommend that – just be nice to people. It’s the whole “pay it forward” and “you get what you give” theory, and us Tired Girls will inevitably need to be given something at some point (like patience… or help… or more patience).  So, you better give it when you feel good and awake so that when you are tired and don't (and aren't), people will like you anyway. 

if you ever get the chance you should google image search "ryan gosling hey girl" 

be this nice person by being nice to all

Aaaaand one more word about this. Be nice – not because you plan to need something at some point – but just because it’s nice to be nice (and all that other stuff about how it will come in handy when you botch something up.)  

Tired Girl - friends

Not tired girlfriends (although it is really what they are), but rather Tired Girl - friends.  As a Tired Girl it is sometimes hard to maintain friendships, because - wait for it - I am tired.  Wah Wahh (sad trombone). Someone I like calls me and two weeks later I call them back.  Some girls are great with that and some not so much.

seriously

The friends in my world are hardy stock. They are not easily daunted; their feelings aren't hurt; there is no guilt; we all GET IT.  If it takes my TG friend Ashley four days to text me back I am cool with that and when it takes me three or eight days to write her back she is cool with that.  I wrote about my friend theory here in my post called Other People's Jerkiness:

- Survival of the fittest and nicest.  Some people make me feel guilty when it takes me awhile to call them back, and when that happens it takes even longer the next time.  Who wants to spend their precious energy being made to feel guilty when the phone works both ways? Not me.  The friends I have fit in to the survival of the fittest and the nicest category.  These are the people that don’t get their feelings hurt when I don’t attend the bachelorette party or take a little too long to email them back.  These are true friends. They truly love me and because of it they will take me with my flaws (tiredness) and all.  

That was quite a rant. I also understand that someone may not be interested in having a friend who is so unresponsive at times.  Some people like to actually interact. Thanks to all my friends that put up with me.

I would be shocked about the language, but I am not, and I agree with this.

Survivor Tired Girl -

I wouldn't make it four minutes on the show Survivor. I drink a lot of water, I use chapstick and handlotion 11 times a day and I have to pluck and shave my body hair daily. I would not be camera ready with all that eyebrow hair, and they wouldn't want to show me plotting and scheming and swatting away mosquitoes looking like a wolf contestant.

One of my favorite past times, though, is to think about what my one "luxury item" ( they used to do that, don't know if they still do) would be if for some miracle I was on that show.  This thinking has morphed in to wondering what products I really need to look nice enough to be on TV (or really just hanging out in real life).  I have decided on these four things: 

 - Clear skin (which I cannot control so this list already sucks)
 - Clean hair
 - Lip Gloss
 - An in-shapeish body (this is all relative and we all have different ideals for our bod)
 - A smile (ick what lame bumpersticker idea- you just need a smile and your whole dang life will be awesome). 

My most favorite lipgloss -
Buxom in "Clair" - a magic color.

There is something wrong with each of these items, but what I have decided (I always have to decide something) is that ultimately these are the best accessories a woman can have. Jeans, suits, pj's, a cranky mood, whatever, all look better on someone with these specifics.

So, while I often don't have some or most or any of these (today I have clean hair and a smile
 and that's all folks), maybe I will have some combination. The goal would be to have all of these every day.  I hope this doesn't sound vacuous (oh wait it totally does).  


My mom  can go a long time with out washing her hair, if needed, and it still looks great.  So that may not be on her list.  Obviously everyone's list is different. The other day I had 12 minutes to shower and leave my home.  It was interesting (to me only)  what was most necessary that day.   

This is as survivory as I get - with my Rafa Natural Dead Sea Mud Mask -
trying to get my skin glowing as "clear skin" is on my "most necessary" list.
As I have mentioned - I am terrible at selfies - probably
because I choose moments where I am half awake and covered in mud
to take some shots.

What is on your "most necessary" list?  You don't have to tell me or anyone else, but for some reason I think it's fun (ish) to know what's on my list. 

Though having perfect eyebrows is not on my "most necessary" list and having perfect eyebrows is not attainable for me,
but these are very good tweezers - and they come in "Tired Girl Pink"

Profile of a Tired Girl - VANESSA!

Our next Tired Girl profile comes from someone who at first glance does not seem like a Tired Girl, but she is, and I like both sides of her - the tired one and the spunky one.  I really agree with her on the idea of dresses - pregnant or not  - and her use of microwaveable brown rice.    I did not proofread this too much, so if there are mistakes don't blame Vanessa, blame me.  She wrote this last fall for me and has since had her baby - just to keep you in the loop.

First name: Vanessa

Tired Girl product(s) recommendation:  I think I’ve already told you how much I love Lancome’s Effacernes - Waterproof Protective Under-eye Concealer (in Clair II).  I have really dark circles around my eyes, and they are aggravated by congestion, hormones and lack of sleep…three things I am pretty much dealing with all the time.  Perfect, right?  This concealer is one of the only things that prevents me from scaring the small children at my daughter’s daycare.  I use it not only under my eyes, but also in the corner closest to my nose and on my eyelid.  I truly get dark “circles” rather than just half-moons under my eyes.  I do make sure to avoid putting any makeup around my crow’s feet though…the makeup tends to end up settling in those pesky fine lines and emphasizing them even more.

The other products I rely on to make me look more awake are my eyelash curler and waterproof mascara.  I use Lancome’s Waterproof Hypnose mascara.  The waterproof is key for me because it helps keep the curl in my lashes.  Non-waterproof formulas tend to weigh my eyelashes down and that defeats the purpose. 

If I have a little extra time in the morning, adding a thin line of black eye-liner to my top lash line makes my lashes look way thicker, and again, makes me look more awake.  If I’m really trying to impress someone, I will add some Nars blush in Orgasm to the apples of my cheeks.  It’s a little pricey, but I’ve been using the same one for years (like, probably over four years…is that gross?) and still haven’t run out.  It is that perfect peachy color that somehow makes me look healthy and glow-y, without being sparkly.  Then I top it all off with a little lip gloss.  My current favorite is Fresh’sSugar Rose.  It feels like a slightly amplified version of my natural lip color.

Favorite non-tired activity:  As lame as it sounds, I really do feel so much better when I work some exercise into my routine.  I’ve really struggled to make the time for it though.  There are only so many hours in the day, and after work my husband and I take turns playing with, feeding, bathing, changing and wrangling our daughter, or cooking, emptying the dishwasher (blech), and doing dishes.  Once she’s in bed, I’m either too full or too tired to even contemplate working out, plus it’s nice to spend an hour just hanging out with my husband.  I’ve found that the only chance I have of working out is if I wake up 45-60 minutes earlier than normal when everyone else is still sleeping.  It’s nice because  I get a little alone time that doesn’t involve me working, and I can listen to cheesy pop songs to my heart’s content with no judgment. 

*Best workout song ever
(that I would never listen to in front of my husband)

Least favorite chore and how you work around it: Ugh, that’s a toss-up between emptying the dishwasher and doing laundry.  I have no work around for the dishwasher, other to leave the dishes in the dishwasher until my husband finally breaks down and does it himself.  As for the laundry, my major issue is taking the clothes out when they’re still hot and folding them before they get a chance to wrinkle.  My problem is that I tend to try get through two loads at a time, and I inevitably end up procrastinating on folding the clothes in the dryer, so I end up leaving the clothes in the washer for too long and they get stinky and I have to re-wash them.  The only thing that seems to work for me is to do towels as my first load, and follow up with clothes as the second.  I’d much rather fold seven towels and put them away than try to find the mates for what feels like hundreds of tiny toddler socks.  So if I do towels first, I’m more likely to get the towels out of the dryer and put the clothes in a little faster, saving myself (and the environment) from having to re-wash.  I will admit that the load of clothes then sits in the dryer for the rest of the week, occasionally getting re-fluffed when I need a shirt.  So if someone has a solution for that, please share.

Your go-to most tired dinner (take-out doesn’t count because as we know that is our MOST most most favorite):  Back when I was single, most of my dinners consisted of a salad topped with either some Publix rotisserie chicken or a fried egg.  That was seriously my dinner for at least four nights a week.  When I got married though, I had to step it up a bit.  My most favorite is when my husband, who is an awesome cook, makes dinner.  But when it’s my turn to cook and I’m beat, I’ll pick up some chicken thighs or breasts (whichever is on sale) and make some man-pleasing chicken.  It’s always a hit in our house, only has a couple of ingredients, and we typically have the ingredients on hand (minus the fresh rosemary – we just sub in dried or omit it entirely).  While it’s in the oven, I’ll microwave up some Trader Joe’s frozen organic brown rice, and toss some frozen broccoli in a microwave safe dish, add a tablespoon or so of water, cover and microwave it for about 3 minutes.  The pros are that it takes very little effort, and the dish cleaning is minimal if you line your baking dish with foil (thank you Tired Girl!).  The only problem is that you have to wait like 45 minutes to eat. 

Man (woman and toddler) -pleasing chicken

If it’s late and we’re all starving, then I’ll grab some salmon, top with a little Chef Paul Prudhomme's Magic Salmon Seasoning, and bake or broil in the oven for about ten minutes.  I will also pair it with rice and whatever frozen veggie we have on hand.  Alternatively, it takes very little time to toss some olive oil and garlic in a pan and sauté some spinach.  I like kale too, but it takes a little longer and I have to use a bigger pot, which means more dishes.  Boo.

Your most tired work outfit (whether your work is away from home or at home (please share brand names and feel free to add pics):  Right now I am about six months pregnant and feeling like a huge walrus.  The easiest, most comfortable and put together outfits I have are all well-fitted, A-line dresses.  They’re nice because they involve no thinking in the morning.  Also, the well-fitted part is key, because anything that is loose just tends to make me look bigger, but the A-line helps skim over some areas I would not like to emphasize too much. 

*These dresses are both from Motherhood Maternity and are less than $40.00.  There is no reason to spend good money on outfits you only get to wear for a few months.

*That being said, this dress might be worth it.  It’s from Seraphine Maternity, and is the same dress Princess Kate wore in her pictures with Will and George.  It’s *only* $79 and is good for nursing too.  Although I somehow doubt this model is actually pregnant.  I think she just stuffed a pillow under her dress.

I also have taken some style cues from Jessica Simpson (yes, I know, but hear me out), and have been pairing black pants with a black fitted top, and adding a blazer or cardigan and scarf or long necklace.  The black is slimming and makes me feel less like a blimp.  I have been going more the maternity trousers than the legging route, but the effect is similar.  And I can wear my regular-sized blazers and cardigans, so long as I don’t try to button them.

*Note – I do not suggest pairing this look with Green Hunter boots or long fur-lined coats.

Biggest Tired Girl splurge:  Currently: travel.  I know I’m going to be in hibernation mode after this baby is born, and won’t be able to go too far from home after my 34^th week, so I’m trying to get out into the world while I still can.

What is your most Tired Girl comfy uniform: If I’m leaving the house and it is less than 90 degrees out, I think leggings, a cute and comfy tunic and boots or flats look pretty cute and ready for fall.  Plus, the tunics cover my rear end and thighs, which also think they’re pregnant.  Otherwise, I end up just wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt around my house.  My poor husband.

Current toenail color:  Pale pink, only because I couldn’t find any fall-appropriate shades in my nail polish bag. 

Tired Girl philosophy:  Life is short - outsource whenever possible.  If you can afford it, hire someone to clean your house or mow your lawn or take care of your pool, or whatever big chore eats up your weekends.  You will free up so much valuable time …time that you can spend with your family or exercising or learning Mandarin or perfecting your soufflé or volunteering, or on whatever else it is that you like to do with yourself.  When we moved, we hired a lady to clean our house every other week.  She does the really annoying and time-consuming things, like cleaning the bathrooms, and scrubbing out our microwave.  We had to re-prioritize our budget a little bit, but it has been so worth it.  Now we can actually go out and do FUN things on the weekends, rather than stick the toddler in front of the TV and argue about who has to scrub toilets or mop the kitchen floor. It has really been life-changing.      

Comments/ other things to share:  The Tired Girl has really taught me a lot about setting priorities.  We all have limited time, and most of us have at least some budget limitations.  By prioritizing the things that matter most to you, and streamlining the rest, you can really make the most of your precious time and money.