Sunday, January 5, 2014

Procrastination -

I have a new job. It is with the same great company and I am still surrounded by many of the same comforts as I was before. The new position is not HARDER than my previous one, but it is DIFFERENT and as a Tired Girl, different directly translates to hard. I could do my previous jobs in my sleep (and sometimes kind of did) and was still good (great!! – maybe) at it. 

As a Tired Girl I achieve comfort in my life by creating ease, simplicity and knowing what to expect. I know how my hair will look when I don’t wash it and what I will need to do to make it look like I don’t live in a cave. I know how much energy it takes to make chicken tacos and how it will taste and how much time I will have left in the evening to sit there. I do not know how to do my new job very, very well yet, and this causes angst, which causes me to avoid, which causes me to procrastinate, which causes me to feel bad, and ultimately to feel more tired – mentally – which is my life’s goal to avoid.

Here is how I felt reading emails I recieved the first few days of my new job - keep in mind I already work for this company and I was chosen to do this job - my thoughts are in pink and italic:

Tired Girl, 
Hey, hope you had a great weekend – I am letting Crystal Valley (is this a person or a place) know that the phoshphing (the what?) is no longer loading with Jazzhands (this is capitalized which implies a brand or person, although I have no idea what or who Jazzhands is).  The people at SSC Deusseldorf (again with the: what the?) know that Prose (no idea) is no longer correlated (to what?) so they may want to talk to BlipBlap/PPT (oh sweet baby Jesus) and switch to RRO or maybe Buster Brown (sobbing quietly now), depending on their timeline and budget. Also Rekram ( deep sigh) is soon to be approved (for what? by whom? oh God), but isn’t yet – so will you email and let them know about that as well.  
Let me know if you have questions!!  :)  Amy

I hope my total confusion was conveyed.

My shower has never been so clean due to this. Literally.  This new job has caused a very, very, very clean shower, because as miserable as cleaning the shower is it is easier then feeling mentally overwhelmed while I am still in training with my new position.

Thankfully I know that I LOVE my new job and all the people I get to work with. I just have not internalized parts of it yet.  I am excited every day to see what new task I can procrastinate and over-think!! Hooray!! 

This has taught me a Tired Girl lesson about procrastination.
Procrastination (along with clutter and jerky people) is a real enemy to Tired Girls.
I am not a procrastinator by nature. But when I don’t know how to do something – I put it off. I decided I wanted to learn how to make a cheesecake and two-years later I got right to and did it.  My stupid shower had soap-scum build up and none of my usual half-ass cleaning tricks worked so a mere 17 years later I took it on. 

When I don’t know how to do something I put it off - did I just say this - I blacked out to avoid thinking about this.  For some of you it may be redecorating your bedroom, losing weight, starting to date again, fixing up your yard, writing a resume, going back to school, teaching your dog not to jump on guests, whatever. No matter how big or little the task is procrastinating about something we need or want that we don’t know how to do takes up precious energy in our Tired Girl souls.  Procrastinating  making a cheesecake for two years?  Not a real big deal.  Procrastinating doing my job for even a second?  Not great.

So I’m going to figure what in the world Jazzhands and SSC Dusseldorf are and why they don’t align or correlate or antagonize or procreate.  You don’t have to do anything you don't want to.  But if you want to procrastinate a little bit longer here is an interesting article about procrastinating (which is a little ironic right?)  Wait But Why article.

Don't worry bosses - I am all in with my new gig, but it took a moment to learn what a Crystal Valley is and how to convey the true nature of a Blip Blap and a Buster Brown. 

What causes you to procrastinate? 

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