Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Don't tell that you're angry -

It sucks to feel like you have been "wronged" in some way.  It's a feeling that can only be described as both awful and powerless and obviously it doesn't need describing if you have experienced it.  If you want to make this feeling exponentially WORSE then be sure and tell everyone you know exactly how wronged you were.  

Unfortunately people do not (in any way) want to hear the reasons you are bitter (an idea that makes people uncomfortable.) How angry you are (a feeling people want to stay away from). How unfair it all is (a word people do not care about it).  
The key word is "secret."  Well and "resentment"

The cycle of anger: 

  • person had X happen to them and become angry
  • that person tells people that X happened and that they are angry
  • people don't want to be around someone who is bitter and consumed about X (even if they like them) 
  • people distance themselves from person
  • person becomes aware that people are uncomfortable about X and don't want to be around them and panics because people don't want to be around them
  • people smell panic and run away at lightening fast speed
  • person is upset at being abandoned after X happened to them
  • person meets someone new and is so bitter and lonely they practically attack new people with X and the abandonment on it goes....

Legally Blonde is a top 5 fave movie - it will make you feel great
Here is what people do want: they want to be around people that are happy, real (but not real angry or real bitter), don't take themselves too seriously, funny, charming (in other words interested in them) and have just the teeniest bit of "edge" to be interesting.

I recently had something happen that made me angry ( you are already uninterested and also somehow sad for my weakness and anger)... blah blah blah it doesn't matter.  
No one wants to hear it.  Even people that really like me. 

Obviously not in every case, but often people a little tiny, teeny, weeny, baby bit blame the wronged person.  They just do. So just don't give people that power - don't tell them everything.  
Why did you get divorced? We weren't happy?
Why did you 

Here is a list of potentially satisfying things you can try when you have been unjustly treated and you are stinking pissed:
  • Retail Therapy (don't get in debt, but instead pick out something new you have been wanting and have it shipped to your house)
  • Exercise Therapy (an amazing body and peaceful mind is appropriate in every situation; and great revenge -  I love my angry exercising)
  • Spend Quality Time With Your Pet (I mean obviously)
  • Do Something BIG (get a new job, move to a new place, trade in your car for a different one - again, don't get in debt - but change that shit up) 
  • Sign Up For Therapy - hoooo-rah to that (take this crap to a professional - and don't be afraid of happy pills even temporarily)
  • Be Around People That Either a) love you unconditionally and let you melt a little or b) don't know you at all and therefore do not define you by any angry inducing event
  • Do Something to Seriously Distract Yourself (plan a trip, redo a room, sign up for a class, etc.)
  • Let Yourself Grieve AND Be Pissed, But Don't Let It Rule You
  • Escapism (read a good book , escape in a good show - something with sex) 
  • Pin a Bunch of Inspirational Shit on Pinterest
Here is a list of DON'Ts:
  • Don't eat too much because chubby and wronged is a really shitty combo (but whatever, I eat my feelings all the time - argh)
  • Don't drink too much (because then we get on Facebook and see other people's  seemingly happy lives and feel bad about what happened - very bad cycle)
  • Don't get in debt to feel better
  • Don't be defined by this - yeah fist in the air!
So the point is  as Tired Girl's we work to streamline our lives and not waste energy. I don't want you to waste energy by, too often, telling other people you are angry.  

Let's just have a Tired Girl's club where we see each other on the street and we look deep in to each other's eyes and we think things like "I know you have been wronged."  "And I know that YOU have been wronged."  When we pump our fists like "fight the power" and we cruise on our about our day. 

1 comment:

  1. I love it! I feel the same way, you have to pick and choose which "wrongs" are really share worthy. People like happy, I like happy. It makes me happier. Thanks for sharing!


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