Tricking the Universe -

I like to do something I call "tricking the Universe." It's something that makes this Tired Girl feel powerful. It can, at the most, solve problems, and, at the least, make us happier. 

These are all ways I may have tried to trick the universe - more commonly referred to as creating a "win - win" situation.

Do you want to get pregnant? Then apply for, and accept, a new job that takes up tons of energy and time, has a lot of earning and growth potential, you enjoy,  and would be actually sort of inconvenient if you were pregs. 
Either:
a) you are distracted and got pregnant (fine with me) or 
b) you don't get preg, but you have moved on and are enriching your career options (fine with me).

Do you want your house to sell? Then totally redo your closet - even spend money on organizational pieces. 
Either:
 a) you wasted your time and money by re-doing your closet, because you immediately sold your house (fine with me) or 
b) you still lived there another thirteen months and enjoyed every moment of your beautiful and organized closet (fine with me).

Do you want to lose weight? Then buy five pairs of your favorite shorts in your current "big" size.  
Either:

These are NOT my favorite shorts, but they are close.
My faves are the previous season's version that
were in junior sizes (7,9,11 instead of 6,8,10).
Junior sizes were created for junior bodies (no curves) and
therefore in a big size just sat on my hips and didn't
hug my badonkadonk. Also the short inseam is counter-intuitive
for more weight, but it works better.

 a) your exercise and eating plan will start working and you will lose weight and waste that money (fine with me) or 
b) it will take you a while to drop the weight and you will feel cute and good about yourself in the meantime (fine with me).

In truth I may or may not have tried some of these tricks and in truth my other house is not sold and I did not get pregnant AND I have not lost much weight, but whatever. I have a good job and shorts that fit - things could be worse. 

Some people may think this is getting distracted from the end goal, and that's their business. 

But for this Tired Girl this strategy feels deeply good. There have been times in my life where I have felt "stuck" - just typing the word makes me wince. When I got to finally take action I was infinitely better - no matter what the action really was.

Tricking the universe takes out the debilitating, nauseating, in-action - the stuckness. No reason to not move forward with things. Big shorts or skinny shorts.  Job or no job - just move ahead and it will be a win-win. 

Frownies review -

I was recently introduced to "Frownies" - little thingies that you stick on your face to fix the wrinkles. 

While having casual girl-talk at a party, the ladies I was with discussed THAT ONE wrinkle on our forehead. We all had it, we all showed each other our particular wrinkle and we all discussed our options.  THEN some do-gooder waltzed by, and said "Yall need to try Frownies."  And presumably went about the party being wrinkle-free. 

Ta-dah!!

I eventually googled Frownies, watched some people on youtube apply them, and made my way to Amazon. For $14 (the price has sky-rocketed to $18 now)  this face-lift in a box could arrive at my house.  On Amazon they have 4 stars and 600+ reviews - those are good stats for a beauty product. 

So after months of both diligent and haphazard use here is the review:

They work in the exact same way that shaving your legs removes hair. 

After shaving, you are hairless, and in a few hours or days the hair starts to grow back and you must shave again. It is not permanent hair-removal.

When you wear a Frownie for more than a few hours the wrinkle is gone/better/less noticeable and after a few hours or days the wrinkle is back. The wrinkle is not permanently fixed.

The more often you shave the less hair growth you notice because you may just shave every day in the shower. 

If you wear a Frownie on a wrinkle every night you won't notice the wrinkle as much. 

As if you need the arrow.
The real story here is that I am more interested in my Bloody Mary
than my wrinkles - which is the right interest to have.

But... no razor and no Frownie and you are hairy and wrinkly in no time.  There are worse things of course, but it sounds bad. 

Just to be-labor this analogy a bit more - just because shaving isn't permanent doesn't mean we don't bother.  We still do it.  And that being said I am on my second box of Frownies.  

As a Tired Girl my getting ready for bed ritual has steps that are not an every-night necessity, and Frownies are one of them, but when I do use them my stupid forehead wrinkle is less noticeable to me.  

So in the end, Frownies get the Tired Girl ranking of: YES. 

I buy mine on Amazon, but I have seen them at Stein-Mart as well for the same price. I also skipped the rose-water spray and use tap water. I have not tried the reusable gel type pads that are more pricey. Anyone tried those?  

Ofcourse it is who we are on the INSIDE that's important and how we treat others, etc etc. But sticking a thing on your forehead some nights isn't going to hurt anyone.  

Don't tell that you're angry -

It sucks to feel like you have been "wronged" in some way.  It's a feeling that can only be described as both awful and powerless and obviously it doesn't need describing if you have experienced it.  If you want to make this feeling exponentially WORSE then be sure and tell everyone you know exactly how wronged you were.  

Unfortunately people do not (in any way) want to hear the reasons you are bitter (an idea that makes people uncomfortable.) How angry you are (a feeling people want to stay away from). How unfair it all is (a word people do not care about it).  

The key word is "secret."  Well and "resentment"

The cycle of anger: 

• person had X happen to them and become angry
• that person tells people that X happened and that they are angry
• people don't want to be around someone who is bitter and consumed about X (even if they like them) 
• people distance themselves from person
• person becomes aware that people are uncomfortable about X and don't want to be around them and panics because people don't want to be around them
• people smell panic and run away at lightening fast speed
• person is upset at being abandoned after X happened to them
• person meets someone new and is so bitter and lonely they practically attack new people with X and the abandonment on it goes....

Legally Blonde is a top 5 fave movie - it will make you feel great

Here is what people do want: they want to be around people that are happy, real (but not real angry or real bitter), don't take themselves too seriously, funny, charming (in other words interested in them) and have just the teeniest bit of "edge" to be interesting.

I recently had something happen that made me angry ( you are already uninterested and also somehow sad for my weakness and anger)... blah blah blah it doesn't matter.  
No one wants to hear it.  Even people that really like me. 

Obviously not in every case, but often people a little tiny, teeny, weeny, baby bit blame the wronged person.  They just do. So just don't give people that power - don't tell them everything.  
Why did you get divorced? We weren't happy?
Why did you 

Here is a list of potentially satisfying things you can try when you have been unjustly treated and you are stinking pissed:

• Retail Therapy (don't get in debt, but instead pick out something new you have been wanting and have it shipped to your house)
• Exercise Therapy (an amazing body and peaceful mind is appropriate in every situation; and great revenge -  I love my angry exercising)
• Spend Quality Time With Your Pet (I mean obviously)
• Do Something BIG (get a new job, move to a new place, trade in your car for a different one - again, don't get in debt - but change that shit up) 
• Sign Up For Therapy - hoooo-rah to that (take this crap to a professional - and don't be afraid of happy pills even temporarily)
• Be Around People That Either a) love you unconditionally and let you melt a little or b) don't know you at all and therefore do not define you by any angry inducing event
• Do Something to Seriously Distract Yourself (plan a trip, redo a room, sign up for a class, etc.)
• Let Yourself Grieve AND Be Pissed, But Don't Let It Rule You
• Escapism (read a good book , escape in a good show - something with sex) 
• Pin a Bunch of Inspirational Shit on Pinterest

Here is a list of DON'Ts:

• Don't eat too much because chubby and wronged is a really shitty combo (but whatever, I eat my feelings all the time - argh)
• Don't drink too much (because then we get on Facebook and see other people's  seemingly happy lives and feel bad about what happened - very bad cycle)
• Don't get in debt to feel better
• Don't be defined by this - yeah fist in the air!
  

So the point is  as Tired Girl's we work to streamline our lives and not waste energy. I don't want you to waste energy by, too often, telling other people you are angry.  

Let's just have a Tired Girl's club where we see each other on the street and we look deep in to each other's eyes and we think things like "I know you have been wronged."  "And I know that YOU have been wronged."  When we pump our fists like "fight the power" and we cruise on our about our day. 

Laundry pods -

This is an old post that I still think about because I still do laundry every Godforsaken second and I still am terrible at the whole process. My most favorite trick is to 1) wash clothes 2) dry them and 3) let the clean clothe sit in a basket for a week to the point that they are practically unrecogonizable (not a word) as  clothes ---  and in my panic to rectify the extreme wrinkliness (not a word)  I sometimes REWASH them to try and fix them and... sigh - - it goes from there. Recently though I have had two miniature laundry breakthroughs (don't get excited) that have drastically (overstatement) helped this miserable cycle.

The word "fling" makes it all so carefree

1) I bought these laundry pods.  They are more expensive, but somehow one less step of pouring liquid in to a bottle cap and launching the liquid in to my washer feels... luxurious.  Maybe not that extreme, but it feels easier which equates to luxury.  I bought my first container at Sam's andit is cheaper there ($20 for 92 pods at Sam's and last week I paid  $18 for 72 pods at Target). What a dumb thing to spend money on.  But anything that makes the process more bearable.  

2) I have found a guilty pleasure in different TV series - something Joe is not interested in.  I save up a couple of loads of clean laundry and settle in to some trashy TV program to fold. I literally look forward to it. My current show is "Outlander" from the Diana Gabaldon book of the same name.  It premiered on Starz but it is now available on Amazon. 

Me when it comes to Outlander

I think there are a few towels somewhere that need to be re-folded;
so I better watch another episode.

Here is my original hate filled post about laundry and my plan to dominate it. 
Laundry is my enemy - my real nemesis -  it literally is never going to end, and I do not enjoy any step along the way (except maybe the way my laundry room smells when I am washing or drying, other than that - bleh). 

I have become obsessed these past two weeks to get ahead of my laundry.  My goal is just to maintain a manageable amount, and so I have started doing one load every day, folding it and putting it away.  All THREE horrific steps in one day, but just one load.  I've done well with it so far - only skipped one day, and my success has allowed me to envision myself, some day, writing a book instead of glaring at full laundry baskets, because I have so much free time. AND it's nice to not look around your house and see laundry baskets everywhere full of maybe clean or maybe dirty laundry. 

I ran into trouble today as I discovered that my drawers and linen closets can not accommodate everything being clean at once.  Their success relies on the idea that a fraction of stuff is always dirty and therefore stored in a basket somewhere.  It is both an epic accomplishment that I did so much laundry and an epic failure that I have discovered I have too much stuff, I guess, or not efficient enough storage.  So if I am going to stay good at laundry I need to eliminate a few things.  I need to start a new give away bag.  

This Tired Girl has enjoyed her one laundry-load-a-day plan for the last 2 weeks.  Does anyone out there have a laundry plan?  Throwing your husbands dirty clothes out, one pair of socks at a time doesn't count.  Here is one idea - but I need more.

Here is a an image I found online that accurately represents our household. I have no one to blame but myself. 

Leggings -

I once wrote an enlightened post called "Jeans Make An Outfit."  And though I still believe in what I wrote, I have come to the conclusion that LEGGINGS also make an outfit. 

I like the simplicity of this outfit and the roominess of the tank.
Found it on Pinterest/Polyvore -
but don't get excited this tank is $119 (!!!!!). Dumb.  

In my new town of Tampa it is the style to go around everywhere, all day, all places, in workout clothes.  Men, women, kids, dogs - doesn't matter.  It's appropriate (like at nice restaurants and on dates and just everywhere). I am not sure if everyone actually has or will work out in the clothes they are wearing, but I don't care - I like it. 

It is no secret that if you want to not shower, not do your hair, not put on makeup and go out in to the world (basically a normal Tired Girl day), the trick is to put on workout clothes. Somehow it matches and actually compliments such an unkempt head.  Stay-at-home moms of new babies mastered this years ago.  

What I have discovered for Tired Girls (really just me) is this:

1) If I put workout clothes on (specifically leggings) I have an increased the likelihood that I will actually workout by a whopping 87%. (I am already dressed for it, I might as well run around a little).

2) If I put on workout clothes (again with the leggings) I am 60% more productive through out the day. 

3) The days I wear leggings all day I am infinitely less comfortable than I am in jeans or other hang out clothes, but am comforted that my messed up hair and makeup-less face seems suitable anywhere I want to go. I am less "slobby" and more "active"!  Hooray!

My favorite leggings are the 90 Degree by Relex from Amazon or Marshall's  (same price both places). I have a couple of the Danskin brand from Wal-Mart, but don't love them.  

Target - in my opinion has some of the best workout clothes, but they are not as cheap as Marshalls/TJ Maxx.  This is one of my favorite shirts from Target. It's forgiving of body bumps believe it or not and is moisture-wicking.

Everyone gets all hot and bothered when people where "leggings as pants."  And to that I roll my eyes, because I am tired and don't have the energy to really address something so dumb. 

Oh wait I did address it afterall.

I like this basic outfit. If you want to go all
non-workouty with the leggings.

I think leggings - as pants, workout clothes, replacement for shaving legs, or daily staple is a fabulous tool for Tired Girls. Find a brand you love and buy a bunch (obviously - as we hate laundry).

Ha ha ha ha ha - just kidding. Screw you photo.

My next step is to find  workout shorts that are decent - and don't look like a huge intertube around my toosh.  It's hot as crud in Florida and I need a warm weather option. These are kind of cute maybe. 

These are Under Armour and come in lots of cute colors.

 Anyone else think leggings are perfect for Tired Girls? Anyone think they are the worst thing ever (keep it to yourself for goodness sake).  Anyone have a warm weather option? 

How to be charming -

Having charm is a wonderful quality and I believe it can be learned, or at least tweaked. 

Quick disclaimer: I taught Creative Photography to high school students. I know the "rules" for creating good photographs. I can critique photographs and edit them and help others take great photos. I can NOT create my own great photos.  I am not a good photographer - I don't have the certain something needed. My skills lie elsewhere (I hope).

So that being said I can tell you HOW to be charming, but it doesn't mean it will automatically work.  It is simple though:

 Helen Gurley Brown talks about
being charming in Sex and the Single Girl.

1) Make it all about the other person.  Your remarks, questions, stories - etc - it's all about THEM.

Example:  I just finished the book, "Outlander," and you would love it - don't you like time travel stories?

Example: I just finished the book, "Outlander," and you would love it - aren't you a history buff?

Example: I just started reading the book "Outlander,"  do you like to read fiction, or non-fiction?

There are three ways to share information about yourself, but you have made the idea really about the other person.  As long as lots of your comments are in relation to the other person - you are on the right track.  

2)  Either genuinely care how the person is answering your questions - OR be a great faker. I prefer to actually care.  
I know someone that asks a hurried and nosy question, and then their eyes dart up and over my head looking around for who else to talk to.  They make me feel immediately small and unimportant. And kind of stupid.  I avoid them at events.

I recently* went to an event* where I talked to a guy* and almost panicked at first being "stuck" with someone that seemed to be a little crazy. But I settled in and kept asking questions of him and lo and behold I learned some actually FANTASTIC information - that was super helpful.  And he* is now a friend.*

So relax and listen to what people say.  They can tell you are listening to THEM and that feels awesome. 

3) Charming people laugh at themselves. They don't take themselves too seriously; they are self-depricating; they are "real."  
However you want to say it.  People like that are easy and fun to be with.  

So, that's it!! 

One of the things that is said about people that are charming is that: "They make me feel like the only person in the world."  And this is why - because they make the world revolve around you!   

I bet Bendeict Cumberbatch is pre-tty charming.

* I may have changed up the details here to protect identities. 

One of my seriously top two favorite non-fiction books ever is  Sex and the Single Girl, by Helen Gurley Brown.  I love all her work - except Cosmopolitan - I never got in to that magazine. And not all of her advice is wonderful - whose is?   But Sex and the Single Girl and Having it All are great reads. You would love it! (Ha!)

Fitbit Review -

For Christmas I asked for a Fitbit.

I chose the Fitbit ZIP over the other Fitbits, because I liked that is was small, and I wasn't ready to invest (even someone else's money) until I knew if I liked it.  Also, I really wasn't interested in the sleep component.  

The Zip

By the second day I was hooked.  I was surprised at how much I moved on my own during the day and  how easy it was to scooch a bit during a (virtual) meeting (you know I work from home and my whole life is virtual right?), or turn up one extra street while walking Teddy, etc. I was crazed with the idea that I could so easily increase my activity and ultimately become in-shape in no time.  

I loved syncing with the app on my computer,  so  I could see my steps throughout the day. I stalked the Fitbit scale online -I wanted everything to link up.  

"Why?"  Joe asked one night when I mentioned buying a $130 scale when we have a perfectly good one. 
"I don't know" I mumbled thinking - yeah why do I want things sync up and talk to each other?  It's fun, that's why! 

A screenshot of the of the synced up app

AND THEN I went on the third business trip in four weeks and somewhere in the Columbus Ohio Convention Center, on my last day at a conference, the darn thing fell off and I didn't notice till I got to the airport.

This feels more true
than I would have thought.

I had my finger on the "add to cart" to buy a new one immediately (a pink one this time so it would be easier to spot), and decided it wasn't a necessity (I mean obviously). I decided that when I lost a little weight I could reward myself with buying a new one (as if losing weight isn't reward enough - am I right?). 

AND THEN weeks went by and I didn't really miss it. Talking about it now - I want a new one, but I think you really see what is important to you when you don't have something and exactly how quickly you work to get a new one.  Things I replace immediately or even have back-up: foil, my BB cream, ibuprofen, coffee (these things make me sound like a real gem). 

So, the bottom line: I give it a "B."  Something fun and exercise inducing, but not vital to my happiness. 

My friend Nick has the Fitbit One and here is what he said about it (HE has the scale too!!): 

"I love it. I don't really like to wear things on my wrist so this just gets clipped to my pocket... Or if I wore a bra I could clip it there but then this would be a completely different conversation, lol. 

The only thing it doesn't do is heart rate. I like that it syncs with my phone and I can compete with my other friends that have any Fitbit tracker.

I also have their scale so the app incorporates the body fat and weight. I like the scale; it can recognize different users by your weight and body fat. It's pretty simple - it just does weight and percent of body fat then syncs with the app. 

You know I had to have a "Hey Girl"

I chose the One over the Zip for 2 main reasons. 1. It can track your sleep patterns and let you know how much actual REM you get and 2. It has a rechargeable battery. 

You can set your weight goal on the app and it will adjust your daily caloric intake. You can log foods by just scanning the bar codes And you can manually enter anything that is not found."

This is the  FLEX not the ONE that Nick talked about.
The FLEX is probably the most popular.
I do like these cute colors for the Fitbit Flex wristbands.